Your kid doesn't always outgrow things...
"I have always made my daughters Halloween costumes. She is now almost 30 and she sends me measurements for her and her husband-- and I still make their costumes.... I thought they outgrew this sort of thing." -- Real Mom
Just say "no"...
So young. So talented.
"My five month old daughter basically does keg stands on my boobs while nursing." -- Real Mom
At least you know she's ready for coed life...
They're lucky the even eat...
"Smores for dinner are healthy right?" -- Real Mom
Chocolate is an antioxidant; graham crackers are fiber; and marshmallows, well...
Sometimes your ears/eyes betray you...
"I know that they did not just.... " -- Real Mom
But 99.99999999% of the time your ears/eyes did not betray you. Sigh...
A moment you'll live a hundred times: your kid will say something so damned funny, but you can't let them see you giggle, because... Game. Over.
"My son is two and was being a sass mouth. I told him that I was going to whip his butt. He looked at me and cocked his head to the side and said 'you better pack a lunch'. I had him go to his room so he would not see me laugh."
-- Real Mom
Kid w/a TKO
Sometimes you just have to smack 'em with the truth...
"I have two biracial children and a white daughter (ghost white). My daughter refuses to be white, she calls herself light tan. She is always saying things like 'mom you are so white not like the rest of us', or 'mom you are so white I thought you were a ghost', or my personal fav: 'Mom I can see you in the dark'..... I really don't know how to tell her that she is white like me!"
Hey, kettle. You're white... LOL
It's not really legal to put kids on a leash, right?
"OMG I can only control myself!" -- Real Mom
Now would be a good time to do those deep breathing exercises...
Well this is less-than-comfortable...
"Get your face out of my butt!" -- Real Mom
Yeah... we got nothin' here...
Momma lays down the law. Always.
"The more you ask the longer you wait. " -- Real Mom
"Lippy" or "mouthy" is just a phase, right?
"I am not going to survive her attitude!" -- Real Mom
We're pretty sure she got that 'tude from her father, right? #BlameDad
The contributors to Newsymom.com are badass real mommas with real thoughts. www.newsymom.com.