Your kid doesn't always outgrow things...
"I have always made my daughters Halloween costumes. She is now almost 30 and she sends me measurements for her and her husband-- and I still make their costumes.... I thought they outgrew this sort of thing." -- Real Mom
Just say "no"...
So young. So talented.
"My five month old daughter basically does keg stands on my boobs while nursing." -- Real Mom
At least you know she's ready for coed life...
They're lucky the even eat...
"Smores for dinner are healthy right?" -- Real Mom
Chocolate is an antioxidant; graham crackers are fiber; and marshmallows, well...
Sometimes your ears/eyes betray you...
"I know that they did not just.... " -- Real Mom
But 99.99999999% of the time your ears/eyes did not betray you. Sigh...
A moment you'll live a hundred times: your kid will say something so damned funny, but you can't let them see you giggle, because... Game. Over.
"My son is two and was being a sass mouth. I told him that I was going to whip his butt. He looked at me and cocked his head to the side and said 'you better pack a lunch'. I had him go to his room so he would not see me laugh."
-- Real Mom
Kid w/a TKO
Some things from childhood stick with you forever...
"My son when he was little liked to run down the hall naked screaming 'wiener, wiener, wiener!' He is now 19 and I caught him doing this the other day!"
-- Real Mom
Maybe he'll one day drive the Wienermobile...
The quiet always proceeds the WTH?
“What was THAT!!!!!!!!!!” -- Real Mom
It can't be that bad, right?
A heads-up is always appreciated. Always.
“I sometimes feel it is my duty as a citizen of this great country to text my husband before he gets home from work: 'Enter with caution. It’s been one of those days.'” -- Real Mom
Your husband thanks you. He doesn't want to sleep in the garage...
The contributors to Newsymom.com are badass real mommas with real thoughts. www.newsymom.com.