Thoughts of mom
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Moms are good everything.
"I am potty training my daughter and when she poops in the potty she gets a treat. Well, I had just blown up the bathroom. My daughter walks in and says 'Mommy, you did good you should get a treat!' Best believe I did just that!"
-- Real Mom
All. The. Treats. #Boom... or is that #BM?
This is actually... impressive...
"For a month when I would take my newborn anywhere he would have explosive poop. Even if we just walked to the mailbox. We would walk out the door, and the countdown would begin." -- Real Mom
Apparently, three things are certain here: Life, Death, and Poops.
But, it's like new to us! Every. Time.
"All day long I hear 'Mommy look! Mommy look!' Sometimes I want to screaming 'I DON'T WANT TO FLIPPING WATCH! I HAVE WATCHED THE SAME THING 500 TIMES!!!!'" -- Real Mom
Is the magic number only 400? Cuz you know you've watched "Sex and the City" 5 gajillion times... LOL
"I explained to my daughter what daddy long legs were and that they were harmless. A few days later, my daughter came downstairs screaming that there was a 'mommy short legs' upstairs." -- Real Mom
What a scream! For so many reasons... #WonTheInternetToday
That "mini-me" of yours really, just... ugh!
"I often think: 'Should I high-five her, or slap her?" -- Real Mom
Someday, you'll be high-fiving her and doing shots together. But for now... get that hand ready!
You can't control them...
"My six year old son walks out the front door and immediately goes to the bush in the front yard and pees... EVERY. TIME." -- Real Mom
Perhaps he's concerned with hydration. Green, lush landscaping is a good selling point...
A moment you'll live a hundred times: your kid will say something so damned funny, but you can't let them see you giggle, because... Game. Over.
"My son is two and was being a sass mouth. I told him that I was going to whip his butt. He looked at me and cocked his head to the side and said 'you better pack a lunch'. I had him go to his room so he would not see me laugh."
-- Real Mom
Round 45:
Kid w/a TKO
Sometimes you just have to smack 'em with the truth...
"I have two biracial children and a white daughter (ghost white). My daughter refuses to be white, she calls herself light tan. She is always saying things like 'mom you are so white not like the rest of us', or 'mom you are so white I thought you were a ghost', or my personal fav: 'Mom I can see you in the dark'..... I really don't know how to tell her that she is white like me!"
--Real Mom
Hey, kettle. You're white... LOL
It's not really legal to put kids on a leash, right?
"OMG I can only control myself!" -- Real Mom
Now would be a good time to do those deep breathing exercises...
Well this is less-than-comfortable...
"Get your face out of my butt!" -- Real Mom
Yeah... we got nothin' here...
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AuthorThe contributors to Newsymom.com are badass real mommas with real thoughts. www.newsymom.com. Archives
October 2023
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