Thoughts of mom
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Maybe it's genetic...
"When my daughter opens her mouth and I hear my smart mouth come out I am not sure which one of us to smack."
-- Real Mom
Her smart will serve her well as an adult. Or will be social media gold...
Some adults need one, too.
"I have a shock collar for my dogs, and I wish I had one for my children."
-- Real Mom
It works on dogs, and they're just fine... so... we won't tell anyone...
Sticks and stones may...
"My son walked in the house and loudly declared that he was in time out. Soon my other son walked in.... turns out his brother had thrown a stick at him in the tree. The stick lodged in his nose." -- Real Mom
This is good blackmail material when they get older...
Yeah. The spontaneous "confession/not a confession"...
"My daughter opened the window on the second floor and yelled at me (I am on the patio) "I did not... no I did not... powder the salt lamp." As you can guess she did powder the salt lamp." -- Real Mom
We understand wanting to get in front of something, but...
Yup. Your daughter is your reflection.
"My daughter is super sassy and I cringe when I hear me come out of her mouth. I have to keep saying "don't react, don't react"!" -- Real Mom
Remember. She's well-equipped to face the world's douchebags, because she's you...
Moms are good everything.
"I am potty training my daughter and when she poops in the potty she gets a treat. Well, I had just blown up the bathroom. My daughter walks in and says 'Mommy, you did good you should get a treat!' Best believe I did just that!"
-- Real Mom
All. The. Treats. #Boom... or is that #BM?
This is actually... impressive...
"For a month when I would take my newborn anywhere he would have explosive poop. Even if we just walked to the mailbox. We would walk out the door, and the countdown would begin." -- Real Mom
Apparently, three things are certain here: Life, Death, and Poops.
That "mini-me" of yours really, just... ugh!
"I often think: 'Should I high-five her, or slap her?" -- Real Mom
Someday, you'll be high-fiving her and doing shots together. But for now... get that hand ready!
Your kid doesn't always outgrow things...
"I have always made my daughters Halloween costumes. She is now almost 30 and she sends me measurements for her and her husband-- and I still make their costumes.... I thought they outgrew this sort of thing." -- Real Mom
Just say "no"...
So young. So talented.
"My five month old daughter basically does keg stands on my boobs while nursing." -- Real Mom
At least you know she's ready for coed life...
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AuthorThe contributors to Newsymom.com are badass real mommas with real thoughts. www.newsymom.com. Archives
October 2023
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