Moms are the center of the kid universe. Because moms know everything. But please, children, try to remember mom is just one person...
“I can’t listen to everyone at one time.” -- Real Mom
Uhmmm, why not? You are a mom. And moms are superheroes... Seriously, "one at a time" is a phrase the kiddos ignore.
A heads-up is always appreciated. Always.
“I sometimes feel it is my duty as a citizen of this great country to text my husband before he gets home from work: 'Enter with caution. It’s been one of those days.'” -- Real Mom
Your husband thanks you. He doesn't want to sleep in the garage...
You know one thing moms give up when they become moms? This:
“If I am not eating cold food at dinner, Hell is freezing over... “ -- Real Mom
Some day, mom. Some day-- Hell will freeze over...
Add chauffeur/taxi driver to mom's long list of titles...
“I’m always running. When do you get your license??” -- Real Mom
Sweet 16 is sweet for many reasons...
All. The. Time. They call your name. No, not your given-at-birth-name. The title you'll forever hear ringing in your ears: Mom.
"Everyone in my house is always saying, mom, mom, mom, mom. So i just yell MOM right back. Hell, I want my momma too!" -- Real Mom
Moms are everything. Even magic. All a mom has to do is just open her mouth, and...
"Not to brag or anything, but I can ruin my teenager’s day just by saying 'Hi'."
-- Real Mom
Now, if said teen would just clean their room! #WheresMyMagicWandForThat
Yes, yes. Your child will be the perfect little angel. All the time...
"HAHAHA to all the soon-to-be-moms that say “my kid will never act like that”. That’s precious." -- Real Mom
School Picture Day. There's a lot going on there...
"Easy there, school picture packages. I don’t need curtains with my kids face on them." -- Real Mom
Nothing kills the mood more than a peppy porker...
"Peppa Pig is the best birth control EVER. " -- Real Mom
Swine means no love time...
Math. It shouldn't be this hard, difficult?
"How am I supposed to help with this math homework when I don’t even understand it myself?!" -- Real Mom