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CRACK WISE MAG

Suzi sPEAKS

Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: speakssuzi@gmail.com

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Death Becomes Her

12/20/2018

 
​I’m okay with dead stuff.
Freelance Grave Tending & Flower Delivery
Heaven’s Maid LLC
$21/hour
Contract

Are you retired?
Interested in a side job?
Looking for extra income?
Thank you for your interest in Heaven’s Maid. We are looking for individuals that don’t mind going to cemeteries and that are interested in Freelance work. When the orders come in, we give them to registered freelancers in the area. We are still “new” to the market and not many people have heard about our services yet, so there aren’t many orders starting out in any one area so many of our freelancers are taking on this position as a side job for some extra money here and there.

Job Summary
When a customer orders a service, the order is then put into our system and becomes available for any freelancer in the area to claim and carry out. When the work is done and a photo is taken, the freelancer gets paid for the work.

Responsibilities and Duties
Cleaning Grave Markers, Delivering Flowers, Taking a Confirmation Photo.

​Representing Heaven’s Maid in a professional manner. Contacting cemeteries to acquire maps and/or directions to specific grave spaces.

Qualifications and Skills
Must be 18 years or older. Must be legally able to work in the United States.

Must be reliable and trustworthy to work independently.

Suzi's Cover Letter:

Dear Walking Death:

I’m not retired, but this job seems interesting. I’m detailed oriental and cleaning is in my blood. I’m the queen of selfies, so your pictures will be guaranteed fab. And I’ll wear the cutest outfits to make the families smile. Or, I could dress up like Indiana Jonesette and treat the job like a grave adventure! I look good in khaki!

Plus, I think this job would make for a good Lifetime movie. A girl who does this job (Suzi) finds true love with a grieving man she encounters while cleaning graves. But it turns out he’s a murderer and the girl uncovers the truth.
​
Kiss from a rose,
Suzi


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    Author

    I'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job.  Sigh.

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