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CRACK WISE MAG

Suzi sPEAKS

Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: speakssuzi@gmail.com

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Cluster...

9/22/2020

 
​Clusters are good. They make me think of squirrels!

Commerce Cluster Writers

Dotdash – Remote

About Your Role:
As a freelance commerce updates editor for The Spruce, you will review and revise existing commerce articles in our content management system in order to elevate user experience, according to specific project instructions and brand guidelines. Updates commerce editors must commit to 20 hours weekly.

About Your Contributions:
You will research and perform revisions or updates to commerce content directly in our content management system as needed according to specific project instructions and brand guidelines.

In some cases you will use your editorial instinct to independently assess what work is necessary on a piece of commerce content before performing an update

You will fact check and copy edit on top of any larger revisions and updates.

About You:
You have a strong background in commerce writing with current industry knowledge and relationships. You’re always on top of new trends and products. Experience covering home improvement, pet products, appliances (large or small), or children’s toys a plus, but not required.

You’re able to easily adopt an established brand voice, and you adhere to strict brand and style guidelines like a pro.

You’re comfortable working in a content management system and can work quickly, independently and accurately.
​
You are comfortable working remotely.

​Suzi’s Cover Letter:

Dear C Effers,

I have experience writing in catalogs. Okay. One catalog. Like, really one catalog only ever came out. It was for my bestie’s startup lingerie company. But then it didn’t happen and she just did an OnlyFans thing.
But… I wrote some really good stuff. Here’s a sample:

ENDLESS ECSTASY
It's an artful orgasm wrapped inside a velvet bag. The Immortal Jade Glass Dildo is individually crafted and hand blown-- and guaranteed to blow your mind. A G-spot stimulator with spiral ridge, and three balls won't miss a single, delicious spot. Use warm or cold for whatever sensation you desire.
10-inches, 4.5-inch circumference (1.5-inch diameter); dishwasher safe; hypoallergenic; chemical and odor resistant; from the Glass Gem Collection.


Right!?!?! Didn’t know I had it in me. I mean, I didn’t really have this in me…

Oh—are there going to be work squirrels?

Dottin’ and Dashin’,
Suzi


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    Author

    I'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job.  Sigh.

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