I’m tiny, so I would make the perfect jockey!
Dear Wild Wild Grassers,
I love cowboy movies. I watched them a lot with my grandpa. He loved John Wayne, so when I saw that you needed someone with True Grit, I was like—me, me, me! No one can rock assless chaps like me, and no one can ride a horse like me. I can ride anything. But, honestly, I’ve never ridden a lawn before. I mean, where do you put the saddle? Or do I kinda spread-eagle it? Whatever. I’m flexible. Like, literally, flexible.
Plus, I like being outside. And grass is nice and pretty and stuff. I just feel weird about riding on it, but I get it.
See You at High Noon,
The Scotts Miracle-Gro Company – Jackson, GA
Job Type: Full-time
Here at Scotts Miracle-Gro there is no such thing as a typical day. Our culture is constantly energized by new and exciting growth opportunities and at a rapid pace. Every Associate plays an important role in providing innovative solutions for today’s gardeners and growers and contributing new ideas to improve operations. In our company you need grit, it is what we were founded on over 150 years ago and is what keeps us growing. Regardless of your level in the organization there is a platform for your voice to be heard and the ability to influence change. Family, community and hard working values are weaved into all that we do. Come grow with us, where we develop and nurture the next generation of leaders.
This position is a light vehicle operator at a Scotts production plant facility. The truck driver operates a Jockey Truck and Trailer in a safe and efficient manner, following all state and federal DOT regulations as well as all company policies and procedures.
Ensures the shipment is correct and in good condition, and stages the trailer in a timely manner.
Completes pre-shift vehicle inspection reports. Informs the Dispatcher or Dock Foreman of any equipment problems with drop trailers or loads.
Reads bills of lading and ensures the correct product quantity and quality SKU is placed on the trailer.
Maintain yard tractor and trailers in road worthy condition, able to pass DOT inspections.
Report any equipment malfunctions to heavy shop for repair and assist in repairs.
Drive forklift and help put up inventory during off season.
Rework damaged product and other assignments as deemed necessary by management.
It’s like me fulfilling my dream of being a personal assistant for Rebel Wilson.
Dear Sack Stuffers,
I watch Guy’s Grocery Games, so I’m good at grocering. Plus, there were a lot of late college night runs to Walmart to people watch and grab a rotisserie chicken. Good times.
Oh, and I’ve always wanted to work in a warehouse and drive big equipment. I think the hard hat and the uniform is so on-point, and those little machine things are cool! Like, I want to pick stuff up all the time. I wish I could have one. Do you think you can let me take one home for the weekend? That way I can move my sister’s trailer off my parents’ property…
Rack ‘Em & Stack ‘Em,
Walmart Grocery DC – Casa Grande, AZ
Salary: $17.25 - $21.45 an hour
Job Type: Full-time/Temporary
Full Job Description
Organize warehouse through removing and stacking empty pallets.
Fulfill store orders through pulling merchandise through layer using electronic voice control equipment, stacking onto pallets, placing labels in appropriate area on freight, and transporting using power equipment.
Maintain freight integrity through inspecting freight for damage and mis-placement (i.e. "strays") monitoring temperature and integrity of food items by separating freight using plastic sheets, (e.g. species, chemical), and maintaining records, logs and forms.
Moves, lifts, carries, and places merchandise and supplies weighing up to 60 pounds without assistance.
Works in areas requiring exposure to varying temperatures, extreme heat or cold, and/or wet, damp, or drafty conditions.
Work overnight, weekends, and varying shifts.
There’s not a tool I can’t handle!
Dear Fellow Toolbags,
I feel like you know me already. I have total dominain experience. Whips, cat o’ nine tails, fuzzy hand cuffs, ball gags. You name it—you’ll love it!
Plus, I see you need a techno expert. Who else can get the club lit like me? Uh, no one. And, I’ve been known to make some fat beats on my Mac.
And when it comes to tests, I was a really good studier, and I took good notes. I used to sell my notes, so I can do this. Test me!
Tools Ain’t For Fools,
Tool Specialist – Testing Tools
Capgemini – New York, NY
Full Job Description:
QA resources with Captital Market/Trading domain experience
Hands on knowledge on Agile Process and Work Flows
Techno-Functional with experience in UI automation (Selenium/JAVA), Database quering, Mainframe and UNIX
Intermidiate/Senior Level of Experience with capable of working in an Onshore/Offshore model
Expert in Test plans, test strategy, cases and processes
Well versed with all types of testing and issue reporting
Good communication knowledge as need to speak with people at various levels.
The Capgemini Freelancer Gateway is enabled by a cutting-edge software platform that leads the contingent labor world for technology innovation. The software platform leverages Machine Learning and Artificial Intelligence to make sure the right people end up in the right job.
This is a big girl job that’s totally cool!
Joseph De Heer Curator of Asian Art
Joseph De Heer Curator of Asian Art
Denver Art Museum Inc – Denver, CO
Salary/$80,000 - $100,000/year
Full Job Description
The Denver Art Museum (DAM) seeks a dynamic and experienced individual to lead the museum’s Asian art department to a higher level of regional, national, and international prominence.
Qualified candidates are expected to exemplify the DAM’s internal values, which include being dynamic, respectful, inclusive, creative, and curious. The ability to maintain effective and positive working relationships with visitors, employees, volunteers, representatives of public and private entities, policy-making bodies, and contractors is critical to the success of this position.
DAM’s Asian art collection includes about 7,000 items, ranging in age from antiquity to modern days, and spanning the entire Asian continent - Turkey, South Asia and East Asia – along with Islamic art. A reinstallation of the Asian permanent collection is underway in the newly renovated Martin Building and 22,000 square feet of exhibition space will open to the public in the fall of 2021. Of that, 5,000 square feet will be available for temporary exhibitions.
The collection is particularly strong in Chinese art and the incoming curator should have a strong expertise in Chinese art. However, given the collection’s breadth, the incoming curator must also serve as a generalist, lifting up all aspects of the collection. The curator will come with active networks in both the U.S. and abroad that include a variety of individuals and enterprises in the art, culture and museum sectors. The Asian art curator must enjoy working with donors, collectors, and the department’s Friends group, and will welcome wide audiences, including families and students.
The successful candidate for this position must have leadership qualities and excellent communication skills. Much of the work at DAM is cross-departmental, and exhibitions are developed through advisory committees that often invite external perspectives. The successful candidate will be someone who enjoys collaboration, welcomes input from other museum staff and from external constituencies, and is willing to have guest- and co-curators for exhibitions in the department.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Yellow Lovers,
I am an Asian. And I know Asian art! All those pictures in the Chinese restaurant in my hood are so cool. I know good stuff when I see it! Plus, I think I’m a long-lost relative of the Ming Dynasty. At least, that’s what my pops said. But he was drunk at the time, so maybe he was wrong. I should do an Ancestry thing and find out.
I don’t know much about turkey. Except that my grams’ isn’t the best. I mean, it’s always dry. Gramps says it’s as dry as her own bird. And something about it being flappy now. Anywho, I could bring my third cousin in to co-collaborate. He’s really smart. He did all these Bob Ross paintings. I opened a museum of his paintings when I was a kid, so I have a head for business, too.
China and Vases for All Races,
I love to show and tell!
Massage Chair Bus Tours, LLC - Dallas, TX
Job Type: PT
$17-$20/hour plus tips
If you have charm, charisma, energy, a good driving record and enjoy people loving you for taking them on a tour of the city in a high-end massage chair, then apply for this job!
If you do not have any stage, acting, singing, entertaining performance, please do not apply for this job. Your job is to entertain 6 people on a tour with your performance background.
Pay: $34 a tour - (1.5 - 2 hrs)
TIPS!!!! TIPS!!! TIPS!!!! TIPS!!!! TIPS!!!!
Being a tour guide means building a relationship with your guests and taking them on a journey...when you do this in the right way… the tips can be amazing!!!
Most of the facts given during the tour are from a voice recorded tablet so there is very little memorizing of a script involved.
You need to be comfortable driving a 6 passenger, 22' long, E-450 Shuttle Bus.
We offer two types of tours and we will be needing three drivers to cover various shifts.
You will be wearing a purple tailed tuxedo.
IT IS HIGHLY IMPORTANT YOU SEND YOUR RESUME WITH A NICE COVER LETTER (A FEW SENTENCES) AS TO WHY YOU WOULD BE A GOOD FIT FOR THIS JOB. WE CALL PEOPLE WHO SEND COVER LETTERS ABOVE OTHERS AS THEY WANT THE JOB MORE.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
My grams used to go on bus tours all the time for some old lady fun. Sometimes, she’d take me. So. Much. Fun. All the old men would give me candy and money. Maybe that’s why I have a special place in my heart for my clients that are older. Anywho, my favorite thing to do is to make people feel welcome. I was voted Most Likely to Be an Escort in high school because I love to show people around. But I don’t know why that didn’t make the yearbook…
Plus, Journey is my favorite band! Don’t Stop Believing that I’m the right person for the job. Don’t let us go our Separate Ways without interviewing me, first. I will welcome the opportunity with Open Arms. Don’t let the Lights go down without hiring the best—me!
Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’,
I can see myself on stage, and not in a stripper way.
Plimoth Patuxet – Plymouth, MA
Job Type: Full-time
Full-time and part-time positions available in this new position for our new Museum Theatre program. Historical Performers portray 17th-century people in timed, scripted or semi-scripted, immersive productions that will be performed multiple times a day. Aspects of this production will include but are not limited to scripted scenarios, plays, hands-on activities, and storytelling. The Historical Performer must have a talent for as well as experience in performance and improvisation while being comfortable interacting with a diverse audience of all ages.
The Historical Performer must be able to take cues from a director, memorize lines and blocking, and improve their performance based on feedback. They also must learn and retain a foundational amount of 17th-century historical information.
The production will be built upon historical research and a foundational script. There will be situations where the Historical Performer must improvise with audience members. Some of the blocking and script will be devised through the rehearsal process.
Participate in additional acting performances/shows including but not limited to 1 person shows, scripted dining experiences and online performances for schools and other groups.
Maintain proper use and care of props, costumes and scenic design.
Wear and use voice amplification devices.
Provide a friendly and welcoming presence for all guests and coworkers throughout the Museum.
Adhere to the policies of Plimoth Patuxet Museums as outlined in the Museum Employee manual and current job description.
Other duties as assigned
This outline description focuses on the primary duties of the position. It is not designed nor intended to include all duties and responsibilities inherent in satisfactory performance of the position. Management reserves the right to revise this job description from time to time as needed.
Fluent in English.
Have a firm understanding of immersive theatre, improvisation, and the theatrical process
Able to deliver an engaging, consistent performance multiple times a day
Able to perform in an outdoor environment for an extended period of time
Able to read and memorize lines, take stage directions, and improve performance based on feedback from director
Able to problem-solve while interacting with guests during performance
Able to learn and complete 17th-century demonstrations and activities
Able to learn and perform a 17th-century dialect
Able to learn and perform period music and dances.
Flexible, resilient and growth mindset
Have an engaging and creative personality with excellent interpersonal skills.
A positive, can-do attitude and sense of humor is essential
Reliability, dependability and punctuality
Fluency in English, strong verbal skills, and ability to communicate clearly and engagingly with guests and colleagues.
Ability to work independently, without direct supervision.
Must be able to read and understand a variety of historical and educational sources.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Historical Hotties,
The stage has always been my calling. I was the lead in a Christmas play when I was 8-years-old. I played Mary. It was an advent guard production. I mean, it wasn’t supposed to be that way, but I guess people got all upset when I kissed Joseph. How else is a baby supposed to show up? I had to show love, right?
From there, I was in a high school musical. Which was my last because I don’t think musicals are for me. I’m more of a pure drama type. And I did really well in history class. Like, Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1792. And that Game of Thrones happened after the Civil War. And Lord of the Rings was the time of the disciples. Cool stuff.
Where’s My Spotlight,
I’m yummy. I like yummy things… So, perfect!
Tasty Talent Resident
BuzzFeed – Los Angeles, CA
Salary :$18 an hour/PT
Full Job Description
Tasty's Talent Residency is a program for aspiring on-camera personalities, TikTok/Reel-ers and YouTubers with a passion for viral storytelling and content creation. This entry-level opportunity is perfect for someone looking to kickstart a career in the entertainment, food media, acting, comedy, TikTok-er, digital creator or influencer space as an on-camera talent/content Creator driving personal and BuzzFeed social growth. As a BuzzFeed Resident, you'll work with innovators in the talent space and forge your own relationships with TikTok, Reels, YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitch audiences! The Residency is an entry-level, part-time, $18/hour, 3-9 month-long program, approximately 3 days/20 hours per week, launching in early March!Our screening process opens now, and selected candidates will be asked to self-tape followed by a video call interview, and finally, a remote screen test with our Casting and Talent Teams.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
If ever I was meant to be something, it is this. I was meant to be exposed to the masses. That’s why I did those movies. I mean, you gotta start somewhere. And, I’m really good on the socials. That’s one way I’ve been able to generate so many more phone clients. But I feel my life should mean so much more. And that’s why TikTok fame is my destiny. Seriously. TikTok is Chinese, and I’m Asian. See? Plus the camera loves me.
And I want to influence people in a positive way, like: Stay away from creepers, know that you’re awesome, and that you should pet cats more.
Daughter of Destiny,
Do I know my way around a camera or what! I DO!
Fairytale Productions Event Services
LEAD PHOTOGRAPHERS NEEDED TO CAPTURE WEDDINGS - great pay, steady work, have fun at parties!
Are you looking to photograph events where people are having a ton of fun and love is in the air? We are a wedding photography company with over 20 years combined in the industry and can help you do that! All you need is some of your own equipment and some experience capturing weddings.
This is a Shoot and Send position - we handle all pre-wedding and post-wedding tasks (including selecting finals and editing). This leaves you with the time you need to focus on your own business!
Pay: $700 per day (8 hours = $87.50/hour). You have the chance to earn $700-$800 multiple days of the year if you provide good work.
Travel: You'll need your own car but you won't always have to travel far! Most of our jobs are in the Tampa area. If you do have to drive far, you'll get compensated for mileage.
FREELANCER MUST PROVIDE OWN EQUIPMENT.
-DSLR or Mirrorless camera (2 cameras - one for a backup)
-SD cards and batteries
- Quality Lenses
-Flash (on camera and/or external)
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Fab Photogs,
This. This is so me. I have been in, like, so many weddings because I am the ultimate bridesmaid. Seriously. I’m the ultimate bridesmaid who knows how to throw awesome parties and have so much fun and keep things moving on wedding day. So imagine all my experience behind the camera!
I know what it takes to make a good pic. I’m *this* close to becoming an influencer. Because my Insta is on point. And, my fun energy will just make everyone have fun and I’ll get the best pics—even ones that shouldn’t make the album cuz they’re a little naughty!!!
Point and Shoot This,
Call me Yogi!
The State of Florida – White Springs
Salary: $2,166.67 Month; $26,000.04 Year
This is moderately independent work providing Visitor Services, Resource Management, Maintenance, Administration and Protection of Stephen Foster Folk Culture Center State Park.
VISITOR SERVICES - Explains facilities and services provided for public use, enjoyment and education; meets visitors, answers questions, provides information and directions. Attempts to resolve visitor complaints while maintaining good public relations. Provides natural and cultural history interpretive programs, assists with set up and break down of all park special events and provides unit specific services as directed.
RESOURCE MANAGEMENT - Recognizes biological communities and the natural processes required for their maintenance. Observes, maintains and protects the natural, cultural, historic and archaeological resources of the park. Participates in prescribed burning related activities. Implements vegetation and wildlife management plans, maintains optimum species control via natural and chemical means. Implements site restoration projects such as reforestation and erosion control. Implements water resources management plans. Collects and records resource management data. Collects and records resource management data.
MAINTENANCE - Maintains park structures, facilities, equipment and grounds through routine, preventive, and corrective maintenance practices. Conducts routine inspections to ensure proper maintenance standards are met. Maintains cleanliness of grounds and facilities.
ADMINISTRATION - Prepares forms and reports on a wide range of subjects including visitation, vehicle usage, purchase requests and accidents. Answers telephone operates park radio, computer and various office equipment; conducts purchasing and fiscal activities in compliance with established procedures. Collects fees, performs cash register transactions and reconciles receipts. Orders, sells and inventories resale merchandise. Answers correspondence and maintains park files.
PROTECTION - Performs routine patrols and security checks; takes appropriate action to ensure visitor safety and adherence to park rules; ensures adherence to the Park Protection Plan. Opens and/or secures park facilities as appropriate. Interprets and enforces park rules pertaining to all natural and cultural resources and facilities and use thereof for the safety and enjoyment of the visitor. Responsible for security of cash fund.
Performs other related duties as required.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Pic-ih-nic Basket People,
I have loved the great outdoors thanks to Yogi Bear. I mean, seriously. How cute. And fun. Now, I think we could use a little freshening up of the uniforms, because khaki is just so boring, but if we have to keep those colors, I suggest we wear some Skechers in hot pink or something. Cute and useful, right?
I’m really great at giving tours. Many of my phone clients have translated into other opportunities where they have big parties at their homes and they want the ladies there to entertain, and so I always show the girls around the homes and make it sound so awesome.
And, I’ll be great with security. I have a pink taser, and I’m a fan of the movie “Broken Arrow”. And wasn’t what’s-her-face a park ranger? Yeah. I practiced her moves and stuff. So…
It’s The Climb,
P.S. I really hate bugs, so can I limit my time outdoors?
Twinkle, twinkle, I “thinkle” I can do this!
Elite Daily is seeking a remote, part-time Astrology writer to join its Experiences vertical. Day-to-day responsibilities include pitching and writing monthly horoscopes and evergreen zodiac-related content. Examples of the types of articles you’d work on include the spiritual meaning of a solar eclipse, which signs will have the worst month, the best matches for Sagittarius, and how you should decorate your living space, according to your sign.
Applicants should have an expert knowledge of all aspects of the zodiac, including a solid understanding of how to read individual birth charts. We’re looking for someone who is interested in what the stars can reveal about everything from the Schitt’s Creek character you are to who you are on Instagram. The ideal candidate is also creative, familiar with the Elite Daily voice, and possesses the ability to produce humorous, light-hearted, clean, and engaging content while meeting daily deadlines.
The position is part-time, remote, takes place during normal business hours (EST), and reports to the Senior Experiences Editor.
Be able to turn around 3 articles per day in a timely manner
Pitch fresh angles related to astrology
Remain flexible while meeting deadlines
Availability to work remotely 4 days a week, Monday - Friday
2+ years of relevant blogging/writing experience
Familiarity with SEO best practices
Proficiency in writing in AP Style
A deep understanding of astrology
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
I literally feel like this is written in the stars for me. My people are all holistic and zen and deep-thinkers and stuff, so astrology is my thing. Plus, my great-grandmother was some kind of showman back in some village and could read everybody. I’m good at reading people, but like in a modern way. Anywho, I bought this book on astrology years ago so I could figure out which dudes would be compatible with me and which ones to stay away from.
Here’s a sample reading thingie:
"If you’re an Aries and you’ve been a hoe, you better get to the doctor and have your jayjay looked at. Because you’re a fire sign. And there may be a fire in your panties that doesn’t need to spread. Like you apparently spread your legs one too many times."
Isn’t that great!?!?
Milky Ways and Galaxy Quests,
I'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job. Sigh.