OMG! Christmas is the bestest holiday ever!
Digital Santa Claus
Santa Calls – Phoenix, AZ
Contract/$75 an hour
Full Job Description
This year Christmas will be different, and the magic of the Santa and North Pole is making its debut over the internet. With malls closed around the nation, Santa's (work) home is in quarantine. It's a good thing Santa's nifty elves hammered away on the mobile application, Santa Calls. By using Facetime, and Zoom technology children all over the nation will still be able to talk to a real, live Santa Claus.
Join our team and help us make children smile and feel the magic of Christmas. We are dedicated to giving every child an opportunity to believe this Christmas.
Pass Background Check
Good communication skills
Positive attitude, warm smile, welcoming voice
Must enjoy interacting with children and families
Real Beard, Excellent personal hygiene
Ability to sit for long periods of time
Full Santa outfit
By contracting with the Santa Calls team you will be paid on a per-call basis working only part-time. You will represent the company as Santa from the North Pole.
Your duties will be to manage a call queue list and make Facetime, or Zoom calls to families and children for 2-minutes. During the call, you will be required to gather key information from the child, such as name and what they want for Christmas.
It is important to make this experience magical for the child. Not all children are very talkative, you must be able to adapt to adversity. Have readily available books, jingles, or stories to tell.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear North Polers,
Christmas is my favoritest holiday! Like, I want to have Christmas stuff all year, but I don’t feel like being shamed about it, so…
I always wanted to be Santa Claus, because Santa brings so much joy into the world! And, I think anyone can be Santa—even a chick—because it’s about your heart. It’s not about race or gender. And, I think Santa needs to recognize adults, too. I’ve dressed up as Santa many times for video chats with my male clients. They were very pleased with my fishnets and leather boots and red lingerie. Imagine how I could inspire others? So many North Poles, so little time…
Spreading legs and love,
Clusters are good. They make me think of squirrels!
Commerce Cluster Writers
Dotdash – Remote
About Your Role:
As a freelance commerce updates editor for The Spruce, you will review and revise existing commerce articles in our content management system in order to elevate user experience, according to specific project instructions and brand guidelines. Updates commerce editors must commit to 20 hours weekly.
About Your Contributions:
You will research and perform revisions or updates to commerce content directly in our content management system as needed according to specific project instructions and brand guidelines.
In some cases you will use your editorial instinct to independently assess what work is necessary on a piece of commerce content before performing an update
You will fact check and copy edit on top of any larger revisions and updates.
You have a strong background in commerce writing with current industry knowledge and relationships. You’re always on top of new trends and products. Experience covering home improvement, pet products, appliances (large or small), or children’s toys a plus, but not required.
You’re able to easily adopt an established brand voice, and you adhere to strict brand and style guidelines like a pro.
You’re comfortable working in a content management system and can work quickly, independently and accurately.
You are comfortable working remotely.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear C Effers,
I have experience writing in catalogs. Okay. One catalog. Like, really one catalog only ever came out. It was for my bestie’s startup lingerie company. But then it didn’t happen and she just did an OnlyFans thing.
But… I wrote some really good stuff. Here’s a sample:
It's an artful orgasm wrapped inside a velvet bag. The Immortal Jade Glass Dildo is individually crafted and hand blown-- and guaranteed to blow your mind. A G-spot stimulator with spiral ridge, and three balls won't miss a single, delicious spot. Use warm or cold for whatever sensation you desire.
10-inches, 4.5-inch circumference (1.5-inch diameter); dishwasher safe; hypoallergenic; chemical and odor resistant; from the Glass Gem Collection.
Right!?!?! Didn’t know I had it in me. I mean, I didn’t really have this in me…
Oh—are there going to be work squirrels?
Dottin’ and Dashin’,
Every day, I wake up with thanks and stuff!
SendThanksNow -- Chicago, IL
Part-time, Contract, Commission/Pay: $10.00 - $25.00 per hour
SendThanksNow is seeking Ambassadors to amplify our voice and help build a more grateful world. Since launching our beta platform, STN has been rapidly growing our community of users. We believe that everyone deserves thanks and we need your help to pay it forward.
Gratitude Ambassadors will be responsible for promoting our brand. You may use your own personal creativity to spread gratitude in order to build the community. Ambassadors will also have access to the SendThanksNow Team and internally developed collateral.
The STN platform utilizes Hearts (1 Heart = 1 cent) plus messages, pictures, and videos to send gratitude. Ambassadors will be given thousands of Hearts to give away as the main method of community recruitment. Every Heart has a story and Ambassadors will help share them.
Learn more here: https://sendthanksnow.com/about
Watch our explainer: https://youtu.be/v_6hrR3ENvo
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
OMG! I am always thankful and always telling people thankful and always talking about what I’m thankful for. So to make a living being thankful… GAH!
I’m thankful for (Top 5 in no order):
And that whole one heart is one cent. It’s like selling candy bars at school! I love the thought of giving everyone a heart on!
I mean, Asians have been known to be maids, so…
Forsyth County – Cumming, GA
$30,295 annual salary
Locates water meters on established routes and within designated timeframes; plans efficient meter-reading route to correspond with account sequence on billing reports; drives utility truck to conduct meter-reading activities.
Reads water meters; enters water consumption data from meter into handheld computerized meter reading device; records data and confirms accuracy of readings; sequences accounts into proper order.
Tests meters to ensure proper operations and accurate readings; inspects/observes condition of meters; checks meters for leaks or illegal taps; reports any necessary repair/maintenance work.
Disconnects or reconnects water service as appropriate; turns on meters to establish water service to new customers; turns off meters to close accounts or to troubleshoot leaks.
Performs customer service functions; provides assistance and information related to meters, consumption, leaks, department procedures, or other issues; responds to routine questions, complaints, or requests for service; initiates problem resolution.
Performs manual work associated with meter reading and maintenance activities; digs around meter boxes and removes dirt/debris; pumps water from meter boxes and determines source of leaks; cleans meter boxes and glass to obtain accurate reading; removes and replaces broken meter boxes/lids; shovels materials.
Operates a variety of equipment and tools associated with meter reading activities, which may include a utility truck, radio communications equipment, handheld computerized meter reading device, meter locator, probing rod, water pump, pipe wrench, shovel, or mechanic tools.
Performs general/preventive maintenance tasks necessary to keep equipment in operable condition, which may include inspecting equipment, refueling vehicles, checking/replacing fluids, greasing equipment, washing/cleaning equipment, or cleaning work areas; monitors equipment operations to maintain efficiency and safety; reports faulty equipment.
Follows safety procedures, utilizes safety equipment, and monitors work environment to ensure safety of employees, the public, and other individuals.
Prepares or completes various forms, reports, correspondence, lost meter reports, no-backflow reports, illegal hookup reports, stolen property reports, vehicle maintenance reports, timesheets, or other documents.
Receives various forms, reports, correspondence, meter route books, receipts, maps, manuals, reference materials, or other documentation; reviews, completes, processes, forwards or retains as appropriate.
Assists in maintaining inventory of division supplies; ensures availability of adequate materials to conduct work activities; initiates requests for new/replacement materials; picks up supplies as needed.
Communicates via telephone and/or two-way radio; provides information and assistance; records/relays messages; responds to requests for service or assistance.
Communicates with supervisor, employees, other departments, customers, the public, and other individuals as needed to coordinate work activities, review status of work, exchange information, or resolve problems.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Maids a Milking,
It has always been my dream to wear a uniform. And I already have a French maid one in my closet! It’s my most popular one! How cute would I look riding around on my pink sparkle scooter checking out meters? (Please say I can have a pink sparkle scooter!!!)
I’m good with coins and my penmanship is awesome, so writing tickets would be like little works of art.
P.S. Do I have to clean stuff, too?
Maid for This,
We’re all beautiful! I want to bring it out!
Experience a place of energy, passion, and excitement. A place where the joy of discovery and uncommon artistry blend to create exhilarating buying experiences—for true beauty enthusiasts. At Ulta Beauty, we’re transforming the world one shade, one lash, one cut at a time. Because beauty is powerful.
If you seek greater purpose—a place of vision, mission, and lived values—where voices are heard, contributions valued and recognized and growth opportunities abound, consider Ulta Beauty. Nowhere else are the possibilities quite this beautiful.
THE IMPACT YOU CAN HAVE:
Welcome to an exciting future in the retail beauty industry! As a Beauty Advisor at Ulta Beauty, you will be the first point of contact for our guest Beauty Enthusiasts, setting and exceeding their expectations for the beauty journey they’re about to experience within your store. As the initial face of the Ulta Beauty brand, you will have the opportunity to put your passion for beauty on full display, while ensuring that everything in the store is clean, fully stocked and ready to “wow” guests and other associates.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Face Saviors,
Ulta is like Heaven on Earth to me! I remember when one opened up near me—I cried. Tears of complete joy! Plus, I envision myself wearing that cool black smock with some booty-poppin’ jeans and smart, sassy heels. My hair in a classic French twist, and my makeup—of course—on point.
I’m really good at doing makeup. All my friends asked me to be their beauty advisor, so It’s, like, natural that I do it and make money. Because paying me in wine is fun until the rent’s due, yo!
This is some makeup I did for my friend Sara who had to go to court on some b.s. prostitution charge. She wanted a dramatic look, so...
Beautiful Faces and Beautiful Queens,
Math. I’ve got this. Duh!
Accounting for Jewelers – Tennessee
$15 - $20/hour, Full-time, Part-time
Accounting for Jewelers, LLC is currently seeking a staff Bookkeeper to work with a roster of 18 - 20 clients.
For this role, we’re looking for someone who has accounting experience, is tech-savvy, and servant-hearted.
This is a part-time, work from home position. Hourly rate commensurate with experience. No benefits offered for part-time employees, but there is existing opportunity for the right candidate to go full time and take on more responsibilities not listed here.
Part Time Probation and Training Period. Full Time Potential. Flexible Hours.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear (Word) Problem Solvers,
If anything were more genetically meant to be, this is it. Hello! Asians and math are like oil and water! Like cats and dogs! Plus, I love jewelry. So counting carrots and stones are, like, perfect for me.
I’m very good with jewels. I wear them. I fondle them to get some jewels. It’s all good. Plus, I helped one of my clients keep things off the books, so…I can do that for you, too.
And, not only can I add stuff up, but I could model your jewelry too. I could wear gold paint and you could put the jewelry on me! Like two jobs from one person! Me!
Bling and Bookkeeping,
OMG! I love Toto!
Associate Editor, Africa
Our news team covers the most meaningful issues in the world, from eradicating malaria and polio to fighting climate change to ending poverty in our time. Our news team gets to know some of the most inspiring leaders in the world, from heads of state to celebrities to philanthropists to aid workers making a difference on the ground. Our journalists and editors produce original news stories, features, interviews, investigations, multimedia projects, OpEds, and online events and have a sustainable business model to do it. Professionals at NGOs like Save the Children, CARE, and the Gates Foundation rely on us to be in-the-know.
Do you have at least five years of journalism and editing experience? Are you based in the Africa region and willing to work remotely? Are you an energetic editor who works well across time zones on a variety of topics? Are you excited to be a part of a global, mission-driven company that has an open, teamwork-focused culture? Read on.
You're ambitious, detail-oriented, and have an open and collaborative attitude. You thrive in an environment where you're responsible for your work (but you get the support you need). You are a reliable multi-tasker who can smoothly juggle working with reporters and freelancers in a variety of locations who are writing about diverse topics, as well as taking on reporting projects of your own. You know the best way to explain complicated stories and are always looking to uncover new talent.
Suzi's Cover Letter
Dear African Africans,
I listen to that Yacht Rock station all the time when my mom’s in the car, cuz that’s her music. Something about one night with Bobby Preston in his backseat with something about “pink” and “stink”. Whatever.
Anywho, mom said I was conceived while she was listening to “Africa” and I guess that’s why I love that song, cuz it’s in my jeans!
I love everything about Toto and Africa. I could write all kinds of stories about it: the drums echoing through the night; the rains; moonlit wings; wild dogs cry out in the night.
I’m perfect for this job! I can even draw a picture of Africa in my sleep!
I love hair! Anywhere!
Lady Jane’s Haircuts for Men
Lady Jane’s Haircuts for Men – Birningham, MI
What is Lady Jane's?
We are an industry leader in the world of men's hair-cutting, and have been for the past 15 years! In that time, we have successfully opened more than 100 locations across the country, won countless men's styling awards, and provided incredible experiences for thousands of stylists and their clients!
What are we looking for?
We are looking for passionate, driven, team-players, who are looking to build a huge clientele and be an industry leader! We set stylists and barbers up for success by offering high level marketing, and growth potential within Lady Jane's corporate structure.
Wicked Awesome Perks of LJ:
-You Choose the Days You want to work
-Clientele provided through aggressive marketing in TV, radio and print
-Industry leading percentages make it easy to make great money
-Creative, upbeat, fun environments
-Express your individuality and run your own business
-Endless advancement and relocation opportunities within Lady Jane's corporate structure
Do you have what it takes to be a superstar?
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
I am a fan of hair. I was always styling my Barbie’s and all my friends. So, I know stuff about hair styling. I’m a natural!
Speaking of natural, I think we ladies need to re-take the muff and re-grow that taco lettuce. I would love for us to be the pioneers in snatch styling and bring hair bag en vogue. I’ve been styling mine for a while, and I could offer all kinds of muff makeovers.
I think we should let our hair down, for realz!
Afros Before Hoes,
I’m so good at trivia!
Game Night Live – Boise, ID
Our ideal Host (MUST have reliable transportation, be 21+ and have a reliable laptop).
Is comfortable speaking to an assembly of happy beer-fueled trivia, sports and/or music fans over a microphone
Has a strong speaking voice
Can potentially host at least a show or two every week
Added bonuses: Quick wit, basic computer skills, and ability to multi-task
A typical GNL night includes. . .
Meeting new people and making friends
Creating a playlist of fun music
Engaging and entertaining the players . . .all while running an efficient game
How it works. . .
We supply our Hosts with the games and equipment they need to host GNL events
We provide our Hosts with a location to host weekly GNL events at.
Our Hosts provide a laptop, some fun tunes, and their stellar personalities.
Our Hosts are awesomely fun at these shows, getting teams to come back for more every week.
We pay a minimum of $45 for each show, and more for shows with better attendance.
This is an outstanding way to get out of the house, meet new people, and stack some extra spending cash on the side. If you only want to make a quick buck, work at a bar so you can drink, or are just a general nincompoop, then this job is not right for you.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Night Gamers…
Who doesn’t like to play games? Seriously! And a place where you can drink! First of all, I’m great with trivia:
Q: What’s black and white and read all over?
A: A newspaper!
Besides my awesome trivia brain, I’m great with people. I was a cheerleader in high school; I’m pro at dancing on bars; and people like me! My phone actress business is successful, but I need to spread my wings and grow into a real career. Like trivia night! I mean, I could go on to hosing a game show on TV as a result!
And think of all the cute outfits I could wear. I’ve got some killer leather shorts that I like to wear with a matching bikini top. If I wear a blazer with it, that makes it professional. Because my moms says a blazer makes any outfit professional.
The Hostess with the Mostess,
I’ve always wanted to be meteorite!
Weekend Evening Meteorologist – KSHB
Do you want to provide weather forecasts for a Super Bowl winning football team? Helping hundreds of thousands of fans plan their tailgate parties this fall!
KSHB, the Scripps NBC Station in Kansas City, and new media partner of the Kansas City Chiefs is seeking an aggressive and experienced Meteorologist for our weekend evening newscasts. In addition you will be the face of our heavily equipped (including radar) “Storm Tracker” vehicle chasing down severe weather and providing live reports from the field.
We seek someone who is a social media rock star and understands the power of proving content to all platforms that not only informs but will engage our viewers. We want someone ready to invest and grow with a station that has a lot of momentum in the market and can help take our weather coverage to new levels.
Prepare and deliver daily weathercasts utilizing all available weather data and graphics computers.
Prepare and deliver urgent weather updates interrupting regular programming as necessary.
Prepare and deliver all weathercast materials over a variety of mediums, including, but not limited to: TV, Radio, Internet, Newspaper.
Receives assignment or evaluates news leads and news tips to develop story ideas.
At least 3-years of TV Meteorologist experience.
Computer literacy required, including weather and newsroom computer systems.
Knowledge of broadcast quality camera equipment.
Knowledge of Final Cut Pro editing systems, or similar editing equipment.
Strong broadcast and AP style writing skills.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Sky Watchers,
My friends have always told me that I should do TV, and that weather stuff would be perfect for me. My favorite movie has always been To Die For. I wanted to be Nicole Kidman so bad and do the weather like her. She looked so good and had the best outfits!
I’ve been practicing for years in front of a mirror and pretending to point at stuff that really isn’t there, so my game is strong. In the third grade, I won Best Drawing during Tornado Safety Week. And our local TV weather dude was a judge and said I was so cute. Destiny, I believe it is!
My philosophy with the weather is to always say it will be partly cloudy. Because if the sun shines, bonus! And if it’s kinda cloudy, then I was right!
Warm Hearts and Warm Fronts,
I'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job. Sigh.