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CRACK WISE MAG

Suzi sPEAKS

Just an average girl looking for her dream gig. Hit me up at: speakssuzi@gmail.com

Ahoy, Mate!

1/24/2019

 
​Boats rock. Because that means warm weather! Woot!
Boat Mate
Clearwater Marine Aquarium
Part-time

REPORTS TO: Lead Captain, and assigned Boat Captain

PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS: Must be able to endure long periods outside in the heat, have the ability to lift up to 50 lbs, have the dexterity and physical ability to be able to check engine fluids, conduct vessel inspections, as well as man overboard drills, and perform periodic maintenance on vessels.

PRIMARY RESPONSIBILITY: The first mate is the right hand man of the captain, required to meet all requests of the captain and advise him when requested regarding all matters pertaining to the vessel and passengers. The Mate must take direction from the captain and communicate any information from him to the passengers when necessary or directed.

Suzi's Cover Letter:

Dear Captain My Captain,

I can totally handle the heat. I have the cutest tiniest bikinis. I can even go topless if needed. 
​

I’m really good at checking under the hoods of stuff. I once did this photo shoot for a calendar and we had to pose with cars with their hoods up and stuff. I was wearing short shorts and a tank top. So cute!

Plus, I looove the show Below Deck. Captain Lee is such a handsome older man. I would love to be his right-hand man. And I’d like to squeeze him.
​
Picture

Or, I could be Kate. She’s such a skinny angry bitch. I’m nice and fun!

Let’s sail together,
Suzi


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    Author

    I'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job.  Sigh.

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