I’ve got great hand technique!
Washington State University – Pullman, WA
The Farmer 2 position will be responsible for milking approximately 150 Holstein cows in a double 5 herringbone parlor once per day. The duties of the position include, but are not limited to: performing daily, weekly, and monthly periodic maintenance; daily cleaning and repair of milking and milk storage equipment; daily cleaning of parlor, holding pen, maternity and hospital areas; organizing and maintaining inventory of parts and materials related to the milking process; training and directing students in the proper operation of the milking facility and animal handling in the parlor; identifying and treating udder health problems; assisting cows in parturition; working with researchers in the gathering of milk samples and experimental data; and performing other duties as assigned. This position will alternate shifts every 3 months. The day shift works from 6:30 am to 3:30 pm, while the night shift works 9:30 pm to 6:30 am.
Position Term in Months 12 Monthly Salary $2,599.00
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Moo Moos,
I loved chocolate milk a lot when I was a little girl. I never drank plain old white milk. Now, I’m a little lactose intolerant. But chocolate milk is still in my heart. I can still sample stuff for you!
I think I’d be great as a night milker because I do my best work at night. And I have a good grip. And I’m good with animals. They love me like Snow White (milk). See what I did there?
I've got great ball handling skills!
Assistant Softball Coach
Williston State College – Williston, ND
Salary: Commensurate with Experience
Reports to: Head Softball Coach
The Assistant Coach is responsible for assisting the Head Coach in recruiting, planning, coaching, scheduling opponents, training team members, and managing all aspects of the softball program for Williston State College.
Assist the head coach in formulating a successful philosophy to promote the educational welfare and sportsmanship of the student-athlete.
Assist the head coach in preparing a yearly budget for the softball program purchases.
Assist in arranging softball travel for team and recruiting.
Assist in developing fundraisers to improve the softball program.
Minimum Position Requirements:
At least 1 year of softball coaching or playing experience.
Bachelor’s degree preferred.
Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities Required:
Strong computer skills.
Skill in preparing a budget.
Ability to work with a diverse team in a fast-paced environment.
Ability to stay abreast of current and developing trends (video, voice, data, and computing technologies).
Enthusiasm and the ability to thrive in an atmosphere of constant change.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
I played a lot of softball with my Gramps growing up. And I organized the neighborhood team. And from there, I started a team when I worked retail. We were called Forever Strikes because I worked at Forever21.
I could totally assist for you. Plus, one time in college I had a brief summer *thing* with Misty on the softball team. Good times…
He Kisses Her on the Strikes, She Kisses Him on the Balls,
I’m Asian, so Ninja-ing is in my blood!
Blind Ninja Dinner Challenge – Columbus, OH
Part-time, $11.00 - $11.01/hour
**Interactive Dinner Theater**
We are putting on a long running (multiple years) Dinner In The Dark concept that uses actors as the main focus of the experience.
You will be dressed as a Ninja and will guide your guests through an exciting journey into the darkness where they dine on a 5 course meal and complete a series of challenges set up by your character.
With your stage acumen, improv experience and knowledge of how to produce a show, you will compliment them on their actions and your dramatic voice will guide them to the next stage of the production with enthusiasm.
This is a very unique acting opportunity as the bulk of your lines are written on a script and you can read it in front of the audience as they are blindfolded and can't see you.
This job has a high tipping potential as you will build a relationship with your guests and they have time to adore you and love the experience.
Our performances are Friday and Sat. Nights at 6:00 and 8:30 pm.
We need trustworthy individuals who can show up on time repeatedly and deliver great performances.
If you are elected to work with us, we can also give you priority scheduling for our other high tipping acting events as well if you need more hours.
Come get your Ninja on!
Suzi's Cover Letter:
Dear Silent Sleuths…
I’m really good at doing things while keeping my eyes closed, so I hope you consider me. Because I’m not really blind. But I can fake it. I’m good at faking stuff. Plus, ninjas are invisible. So…
Sneaky & Stealthy,
I have been dreaming of my wedding since birth!
Brandi’s Bridal Galleria – New Glarus, WI 54574
$11.50 - $13.40 an hour – Part-time
Join Wisconsin’s fastest growing, trendy, award winning bridal salon! Winning "Wisconsin's Best" for 13 years running means offering service, selection, and an experience for our bride that is second to none! As one of the Midwest's largest, independently-owned bridal salons, Brandi's Bridal Galleria, Etc. is seeking energetic, hard-working people who love to sell fashion-forward bridal apparel and enjoy a fun, teamwork environment. Immediate positions: full-time, part-time, and/or weekend only. Multiple positions available. We are very flexible with student class schedules. Weekend availability is a must. Brandi's offers a great opportunity for personal growth, experience, and professional skill building. Great new things are happening at Brandi's gorgeous 12,000 sq. ft, “state of the art” bridal salon. Come be a part of the team that is changing the face of bridal forever. Brandisbridal.com
Guide the bride in selecting the perfect bridal gown and accessories by applying your knowledge of bridal apparel
Assist bridal parties in selection of their wedding apparel from bridesmaids, moms, Prom dresses, tuxedos.
Floor product merchandising to keep our cutting-edge trends presented well.
Product preparation including pressing and pricing of merchandise.
Work as a Team Player to ensure each customer receives the best service possible.
Engage the customer in creating a fun and memorable experience.
Resolve a customer’s challenging situation and frustration with clear direction, confidence, and kindness.
Any other activities deemed necessary by management: i.e. cleaning, inventory.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Brides-to-Be Helpers,
I’m obsessed with Say Yes to The Dress and Four Weddings. And even Bridezillas! Like, I want to get married a lot so I can wear a jillion dresses.
I love brides and think every chick is perfect and beautiful on their special day—even the fat ones.
Who could think a bride is ugly? Well, maybe my sister. Because she has an ugly soul. And no dude is stupid enough to marry her. She’s just a depository—if you know what I mean.
Happy Tears & Happy Tiaras,
P.S. And I would truly love to move to Wisconsin because I love cheese!
I can be in charge and stuff!
Head of Audience, USA
News Corp – New York, NY
Title Head of Audience, US
Department The Sun Online
Reports to Director of Audience
The Sun - biggest newsbrand and News Website of The Year in the UK - is launching in the US, with ambitious plans for growth. We need an experienced Head of Audience to run our US audience operation.
Purpose of role You’ll be responsible for spearheading our audience growth strategy - leading a growing team of audience editors, building relationships with distribution partners, and working with the editor to ensure we’re writing about the right things and developing strategies to grow our loyal and engaged audiences and brand.
Your team’s work will include posting to social media, growing social accounts, giving editorial SEO advice, content and event planning, and audience analytics. You’ll lead them in ensuring they beat all of our traffic targets with a mix of your own creative thinking, ambition and getting your hands dirty.
Suzi's Cover Letter:
I am all about leadership. So being in charge of an audience is right up my alley. I was in drama in high school, and I totally always had the audience in the palm of my hand. I was going to go to NYC for acting, but my sister got pregnant with her third child from her 4th boyfriend, and she needed help. So…
I’m great with social media. And I think sex sells, so look for lots of pics of me in my bikini.
And I’m a good writer, to. Like, I almost wrote Twilight.
The Sun Shines Here,
I am so creative. Like, so...
Freelancer Jewelry Designer
Elite GNY - New York, NY
Jewelry and Watch Designer
We are looking for a Freelance Jewelry & Watch designer for top fashion company in New York City. This individual will be responsible for assisting in technical designing for the jewelry team.
Develop and execute product designs that achieve overall product strategy. Participate in research and development of seasonal trends. Ensure designs meet merchant line plans, assortment strategies and overall creative direction. Prepare and finalize technical drawings of proposed product to be used for production. Adhere to design calendar and deadlines.
Suzi's Cover Letter:
Dear Jewel Rulers,
I have so many ideas about jewelry. I used to make my own bracelets in school. All the cool girls wore my stuff. We had a little group of fashionistas led by yours truly.
My big idea is crowns. We need to wear crowns more often. Not just for weddings and bachelorette parties, and pageants, but like, all the time! I would design a Grocery Shopping Crown, a Football Sunday Crown-- even Going-to-the-Gyno Crown!
And, just so you know-- crowns are for dudes, too. Any age can wear one. Can you imagine the cute baby crowns!?!?!
Here are some of my totally cool designs:
I can read books on Thai food and make money!?!?!
Thai Novel Proofreaders
Nyoi Bo – New York, NY
Our well-established novel translation company is looking for Proofreaders (fluent in Thai and English) to proofread top English novels that had been translated into Thai, catering to readers all over the world. We have more than 400 talented freelancers working with us and scouting for more.
This is a long-term position for suitable candidates.
Previous proofreading, editing experience preferred but not required and willing to be trained
You need to be fluent in Thai and English
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Pad Thai-ers,
Asian Cuisine is da bomb! But I do love some Thai food in particular. It’s unique. I could get down on some Pa-Nang Curry Beef, or some Lo-Mein. Or anything coconut.
And to be able to read about it, and cater Thai food to readers all over the world!?!? International Suzi!
Pho Sure I’m Your Gurr,
I love old people! They smell like pudding.
Singrly by Tony Vaudeville Talent – Seattle, WA
$30 - $40 an hour/Part-time, contract
Tony Vaudeville Talent is a talent agency specializing in providing arts engagement activities for seniors in retirement communities. We are seeking new talent to add to our roster. Working with us is a great way to market your talents without paying for advertising or profiles on sites like C’List or G’Masters. We handle photos, video, and promotion. You just show up on time and deliver a really great show!
Actor/Reader: Part-time reader sought for weekly group work with seniors in memory care, assisted living, nursing care and independent living settings.
Candidate must possess a strong interest in working with people who are living with dementia and related conditions and be able to adapt the service to meet the individuals involved in the program
To be considered candidate must be:
A talented voice actor able to perform dramatic readings of short stories and novels
Able to imaginatively use music and foley techniques to create an engaging performance.
Suzi's Cover Letter:
Dear Old Time Lovers,
I was really close to my gramps. He was the only one who really understood me. I vented a lot to him about my stupid tramp sister. Maybe this is why I’ve always loved older men…
I used to volunteer at nursing homes and visit with the old folks. They just needed someone to talk to. I left there after confusion over that one day when I showed up in a bikini. Mr. Pappas said I reminded him of his wife, and how pretty she was, and how they used to swim a lot together. So, I just wanted to make him happy. You know?
I don’t regret what I did… I’d do it again. #ElderLivesMatter
Jell-O and Juice Boxes,
I’m a total Trekkie!
Genghis Grill – Reno, NV
$9 - $12/hour – Part-time
As the Host/Hostess, you must make the Fan feel welcome. You are the first person to greet the Fan when they arrive. You should provide a cheery greeting and make each and every Fan feel "special." For some, it will be their first time visiting Genghis Grill so it is up to you to make them feel at ease. A Fan may have had a hard day at work; and now wants to relax; a Fan may be celebrating a special occasion or it may be a family that just wants to enjoy a good meal. Whatever the reason, you are the Host/Hostess who sets the tone for the Fans’ visit. You can answer any and all questions and fulfill their needs.
You must keep your energy level and enthusiasm up. You are the first person a Fan sees so greet the Fan with a welcoming smile. The Fan’s first impression of our restaurant is you. All incoming Fans must receive a friendly, sincere greeting while the door is held open for them (If time allows).
As the Host/Hostess, you are also the last person the Fan will come in contact with. When the Fan leaves, open the door for them, thank them for choosing Genghis Grill, and invite them to return. Provide the Fan with a good last impression of our restaurant.
Our Hosts/Hostesses are successful because of TEAMWORK. In order for a team to function effectively, it must be guided by certain basic principles. The information, instructions, and philosophies in this manual are the basic principles to which you will be expected to adhere.
Suzi's Cover Letter:
Dear Genhghis Gangstas,
I’m such a Trekkie, and working here would combine two of my loves—Star Trek and food! The Wrath of Khan is my favorite of the Star Trek movie. Ricardo Montalban was a bad, bad, boy—but so dreamy! Plus, I’ve been a hostess before. I’m really good. But I got fired from my last hostess gig because I was too friendly. Whatevs.
Beam Me Up Scotty,
Anything with beer is so fun!
Brewery Events Coordinator
Baxter Brewing Company – Lewiston, ME
Baxter Brewing Company is looking for a versatile Events Coordinator to organize and execute events that will make an impact on target audiences. We want to see enthusiastic candidates with fresh ideas and the organizational skills required to help us reach new audiences as well as create deeper loyalty among Baxter fans.
We’re seeking someone who is a natural-born people person and an incredible communicator. You throw parties people can’t stop talking about. You find interesting people, picture-perfect places and create clever details with ease. You’re happiest with a run-of-show clipboard, juggling both the big picture and the most granular details. You ensure events are successful, paying attention to budget and time constraints.
Create and execute concepts for marketing and PR events in the field and at the brewery, which includes a wide variety of charitable and experiential events/festivals, from pre-planning to day-of execution.
Partner with Brand Managers on developing compelling event concepts, marketing strategies, creative materials, props and promotional items.
Collaborate with the Pub team on developing marketing events at the brewery to increase visits, sales and customer engagement.
One to three years of previous professional experience in special event planning and management.
A love of craft beer and an understanding of brewing and beer styles is strongly preferred.
Ability to work both independently and as part of a team, as situations demand.
Suzi’s Cover Letter:
Dear Good Yeast Supporters,
If I was never meant for something, it’s me and brew! (Get it? Instead of me and you, me and brew?) I have always been the go-to person to plan parties amongst my peeps. I’m so great with people and getting them together!
I love crowds and I love beer! Like, I can win any drinking contest hands-down… and not puke!
My best party was Beerfest ’15. OMG! The whole block was down. We had a 100-yard beer dash. Barrel Roll—how far can you roll in a barrel. BeerButt—smash a can of beer between your butt cheeks, then someone drinks it. And, we had a thing for charity: “Cans 4 Cans”. Donate money for breast cancer awareness and get a can of beer! Bonus: only one person got hurt at our party.
Hops-ing to Meet You Soon,
I'm just your average girl who wants a kick-ass life and... love! If I could be a superhero, that would be AWESOME! I'm currently a "phone actress" looking for a really cool career. Don't get me wrong-- I love giving a hand to dudes who need someone to chat with. Everybody needs somebody! But, my parents keep telling me I need a respectable job. Sigh.