We never quite decided how we felt about the ol’ Houndstooth pattern. Perhaps it’s because Houndstooth and tweed seem to go together like peas and carrots, and tweed is itchy. Who wants that annoyance?
Somebody who’s somebody, Keltie Knight, posted pics of her Beyond Proper Houndstooth Tweed Mini Skirt.
She looks awesome. We think we’d look like a fat tablecloth. Plus, we’d rather spend $59.98 on adopting a hound dog of some sort.
It’s all about context. It can make a phrase innocent or inflammatory. Take for instance the word “bitch”. Two girls in da club draaanking too much start name-calling. When “bitch” is dropped, someone might lose their weave. Then, there are other times when a woman is fine with being a strong “bitch”.
One Tough Bitch is born from the empowerment context. Two-time cancer survivor Shelly Fisher created a line of clothing and jewelry to empower women with a physical reminder that they can get through anything.
Not only will women feel like a superwoman sporting these designs, but they’ll feel even better knowing 10% of proceeds are donated to Give Her Camp.
We think One Tough Bitch’s theme song should be a play on Naughty By Nature’s O.P.P. Obviously, a cleaner more respectful tune:
“We’re down wit OTB! Yeah, you know me!”
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Perhaps Travis Scott should stick with whatever “music” he does. Because his fashion is whack.
We appreciate the tie-in with the album of the same name, but Astroworld—the clothing line—is… interesting.
Is it us? Or does this shirt look like a butthole? A distressed buthole…
Maybe Astroworld is really Assh$leworld.
And this looks like a centipede. The last thing we’d want on our body.
This one is kinda cool in a Heath Ledger-Joker sort of way.
Ah, fashion. We could’ve made this in 3rd grade art class. Why aren’t we millionaires?
We know celebrities are not “just like us”, despite that stupid Us Weekly feature (does that even still exist?). They’re out of touch with reality and make a ton of money that apparently needs spent on over-priced items. Like these Natalie McMillan earrings:
Lacey Chabert wore them to some press appearance Granted, she probably got them for free to wear. But to then think the average female is going to drop $700 for these?
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Are these earrings going to do my laundry and rub my feet?
The price tag for some earrings that are bound to get lost is a whole bunch of ridic.
Some things you can get for $700:
Lots of groceries
A down payment on a vacay
Two or three new wardrobes
Pay your utilities for months
Get a new phone (still kinda ridic)
Lots and lots of wine
Many wonderful subscriptions to Crack Wise (just $14.99/yaer)
A few of our Crack Wise staffers remember a time called the late 70s-early 80s. A time when rainbows were a fashion thing because of the colors. No agenda. Just joyous rainbows.
Actress Isla Fisher was spotted wearing Today’s Hits and Yesterday’s Favorites Sweatshirt from Saturday School.
Cool sweatshirt. Reminds us of something that would’ve been worn back then. So instead of dropping $88, we’re going to crawl into mom and pop’s attic and see if we can find our beloved rainbow sweatshirt. Since retro is back in style, we might actually fit in… for once.
P.S. Do loooove the Saturday School vibe. The name. The website. But we’d have to get a Saturday morning job to afford the clothing.
Camilla Belle is famous. So people care. She wore this snazzy looking striped sweater, snapped some pics, and shared them on her Insta.
Personally, we’re more interested in the cute teapot:
Seriously, we want the deets on where we can get one for ourselves. And, do these cuties come in different colors, cuz we’d rock a red one. Or a Tiffany Blue teapot.
Plus, we just bought a striped sweater from Old Navy for a cool $10. This Splendid version will set you back $168.
Camilla may be stylish, but we’re savvy. Or cheap…Whichever.
It’s all in a name. So when we discovered a clothing brand named “Out of Order”, we were fascinated. We thought about a judge getting upset in court and pounding his gavel. But we mostly thought about a non-working bathroom at a gas station.
Apparently, neither were the inspiration behind the brand. Out of Order is all about thought-provoking designs that explore hot-button subject matter.
This is from the latest collection named “CODE 417”—which is the code the NYPD uses to reference a person with a gun. The 28-piece collection is comprised of sweat suits, graphic t’s and coveralls.
And then, there’s this:
We’re sweating just looking at this outfit. And the duct-taped nips? Is she going from street to mammogram?
We know we are fashion failures. But here’s how we feel. They call this street wear. But we feel like if someone really wore this on the street, they’d get their ass kicked.
No street cred in these threads.
How adorbs is this?
If you have a little girl or little girl family members, these swimsuits from Wetsuit Club are so cute.
Whether you’re doing the beach thang, or hangin’ at the pool, these colorful swimsuits let sassy little gals swim in style. These rich hues, playful details, unique 3-D and novel designs are also UPF 50. Even better.
And if you’re all like: “What about our little men?” Wetsuit Club offers plenty of coolness for the boys.
Shop online or in person at Dillard's or Stein Mart. Why can't grown ups have cute swimsuits?
When it comes to all-things Asian, people think: Chinese or Japanese. Well, eff that. Don’t forget the Koreans. The best of all the Asian folk. And we can say that, because Crack Wise Editor-in-Chief Kathy Vogel is half Korean, and very proud of that!
Also, the female members of the Crack Wise staff can’t resist a good handbag. Some might say there’s a slight obsession with the accessory. But, we don’t like to label things… when it comes to us. Ha!
A couple of KACYYOM handbags caught our eye. Yes, because Miss Universe Catriona Grey was spotted on the streets with two of the brand’s bags. And because they looked cool.
We like that each design has a name in Korean and, thus, a meaning attributed to that handbag.
Sadly, you’ll never see us with either bag. First of all, we’re not taking out a second mortgage for this. Secondly, we’ve got too much crap to fit into these handbags.
Someday, our bodies and our bags will be slimmer.
Fashion is edgy and… we don’t know what other adjective to use at this point. We’re kinda diggin’ the newest baubles from bonheur’s FW19 collection.
Being square is a good thing. And if you’ve got the cash to drop on some bling, why not?
We’re curious, though, as to what FW19 stands for? It could stand for “Fashion Week 19”—which is a big deal in the fashion world. We’d like to think it stands for “F*ckin’ Wow!” because that’s the reaction one may feel appreciating this jewelry’s simple beauty. Or perhaps, what one would say after seeing the price.
P.S. Is it us, or do the earrings look like a skinny New Mexico?
Haus of V is a creative collective that shares a similar mindset -- with a twist.