What? Each word in the title of this post is related to a story this week on Crack Wise. Fun. No?
Conley's Corner: To Your Health
Baking soda not only helps you keep your fridge de-stanked, but there are some health and beauty benefits, too. Wonderful. Comedian Mike Conley prefers the "health" benefits of rum. Check out a snippet of the latest Conley's Corner episode:
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This is Ollie! He's our newest staff member. His official title: Crack Wise Magazine Funbassador. And yes, he brings the fun. Ollie will share his adventures, his thoughts, whatever.
Gettin' It Someplace Else
"Why in the name of all things good would I drop $ on your website when I can get laughs in a million places on the internet?"
Because at Crack Wise, we offer exclusive content that you can't get any place else. The twisted mind of comedian Mike Conley? Cousin Suzi's doomed-from-the-start job search? Random, inappropriate thoughts infusing perfectly good topics?
Crack Wise is like a fun radio morning show 24/7, 365. Plus, we're developing new exclusive features for 2019.
Take us for a test ride for free for 10-days, then your annual subscription will kick in at $14.95.
Crack Wise brings you stories about life, wellness, music, style, and food, too-- all combining wisdom with wit. Other gems include: getting a body like Chris Hemsworth, the "50 Shades of Grey" house in Pennsylvania raising eyebrows (and other things), and the cutest silicone teethers for babies. Why don't adults have teethers? Sigh.
Read on, and enjoy!
Some guys are guilty of "Negative Dating". Crack Wise Editor-in-Chief Kathy Vogel explains this douche-y dating game while comedian Mike Conley shares another dating term he's uncovered. Here's a clip from the latest episode:
There's four more minutes of WTH. Enjoy your FREE 10-day trial to Crack Wise today and see all of Conley's Corner. We're sorry...
What is "Funformation"?
FUN + INFORMATION = FUNFORMATION
You'll get real stories here at Crack Wise, but in a fun way. It's like a conversation you'd have with your friends: stories, wise cracks, snarky comments, bizarre thoughts, non sequitors. There are a lot of things out there that can frustrate you. Take a breather, and Crack Wise.
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Crack Wise has exclusive features. And we're adding more this year.
Style: Wilde But Not Free
Harper Wilde offers shapewear and underthings for women of all shapes and sizes. Finally...
Eats n Sips: Nutty
Crazy Richard's "nuts" are good for you. Is that a pickup line?
Suzi Speaks: Jump Around
Well, if you own a rebounder you're definitely qualified to be part of a SkyJump crew, right?
We also have cool stories in Sounds, Life, Wellness, and Etc...
Most of us desire to make a good first impression. And many times, we don't have to sweat it. People like us. But... and that's where comedian Mike Conley comes in. Here's a clip from the latest episode of Conley's Corner:
Enjoy the rest of this episode with your fee 10-day trial to Crack Wise.
Etc: Bust My Butt
From Crack Wise Editor-in-Chief Kathy Vogel:
If you’ve got money to burn and no pride, you can spend it on this Bubble Wrap Suit Zoltan Costume from the movie “Dude, Where’s My Car”?
Yes, it’s made of real bubble wrap. I love popping bubble wrap. Can’t resist. So let’s say you drop the $24.95 from What On Earth on this bad boy. And then you get drunk and inevitably sweat inside this plastic death trap? You’re gonna stink. And slip, and slide. And your dumbass friends are going to pop you. Not in the fun, let’s-knock-da-boots, kind of way. But actually pop you. To me, this is not worth the $24.95. Because if I drop my dining-out budget on this suit, I need to get a couple of wears out of it. Also, I’m sure I could make this myself for a fraction of the cost. With some of the over-packing Amazon does, I’ve got enough bubble wrap for a wedding gown.
Then, there’s this:
Pillow soft? Like My Pillow? Or what pillow exactly? Also, do the foil stripes come with each pair of panties, or am I totally out of the panty loop? That’s gonna be some jacked-up tan lines. Or perhaps she’s treating herself like she’d treat a baking pie—putting foil over the crust so you don’t want it to burn. Or is this some nouveau jogger fashion? Instead of jogging in my reflective vest, I’ve got a reflective ass…
That’s all the random thoughts I have… for now…
Yup. Crack Wise is a subscription-based product. But we'll give you the cow after you've had the milk first with your 10-day FREE TRIAL. If you're laughing your booty off, shaking your head, or murmuring to yourself, "These people are idiots"-- then you're ready for a yearly subscription at $14.95.
We know what you're thinking: "You really think I'm going to give you $14.95 for this?
We think you want to. We think you're tired of fake news, crappy news, Judge-y McJudge-sters on social media, your work day, your kids, your significant other.
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Life: Raise Your Glasses High
We’re raising our hands here with a touch of shame. After blasting the mere thought of wasting precious moments watching reality TV, we fell down the rabbit hole. We enjoy reality TV. Why? Because it’s mindless television. No need to pay attention to plot twists. Most “plots” involve:
Beautiful People + rumors = cat fights
We enjoy the Bravo show Vanderpump Rules. If we were decades younger with a tighter bod, we’d definitely want to live this life of who-gives-a-sh*t. Plus, a five-figure pay day per episode ain’t bad.
The goddess herself, Lisa Vanderpump, is set to debut Vanderpump Cocktail Garden at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.
We need a ticket, stat!
“I have always loved Las Vegas --it has always been a dream of mine to see our brand in lights at the iconic Caesars Palace,” said Lisa. “Vanderpump Cocktail Garden will combine the sexy atmosphere of our other establishments injected with the Vegas energy that brings millions of guests who visit year after year.”
Vanderpump Cocktail Garden will feature an indoor patio to welcome arriving guests who will then enjoy a fresco-style garden with towering trees and romantic lighting. Seating inside will feature Vanderpump’s favorite color—pink—with contrasting “masculine” details. Hope that doesn’t mean hanging schlongs…
Guests will nibble on small bites while enjoying craft cocktails and Vanderpump Sangria.
We dream of possessing just a fraction of Lisa’s fabulosity… Maybe if we visit the new hot spot, we can absorb it through osmosis...
There's so much more "funformation" waiting for you inside the pages of Crack Wise. You'll thank yourself for signing up. Do it on the HOME PAGE. Free 10-day trial, then just $14.99/year. Thanks for supporting fun!
Haus of V is a creative collective that shares a similar mindset -- with a twist.