OMG! We've discovered the coolest outdoor game for kids: Stomp Rocket Dueling Rockets!
Whether you're looking for an Easter gift, birthday gift, family vacation activity, get-the-hell-out-of-the-house-before-I-smack-you-gift (to yourself)-- the rocket is nothing but tons of fun.
This set comes with two launch pads so friends can face off simultaneously, sending their rockets up to 200 feet.
Get yours at Target.
Oh! We noticed that this game is for ages 5 and up. Since we fall into the "and up" category, we adults can have fun with this.
Imagine at your next barbecue: you're loaded up on a few "beverages" and potato salad and decide to challenge your Uncle Larry to a duel. It's a way to finally kick his lame, adulterous ass without getting thrown behind bars.
We just had a moment, didn't we?
St. Patrick’s Day. The day we’re all a little green (probs from all the green beer and bad food choices). The day we’re all McLastName. They day where we have no idea what the holiday is about, but eff it—let’s drink!
Before you get all tore-up from the floor-up, drop some of these St. Pat’s facts on your peeps before you start spewing lies, tales, and green eggs…
174%: Increase in beer sales on St. Patrick’s Day compared to the rest of the year (153% more spirits are sold compared with the average day).
$1.6 Million: Market value of a leprechaun’s pot of gold.
$6.16 Billion: Amount spent collectively on St. Patrick’s Day 2020 ($43 per person celebrating).
32.1 Million: Number of Americans who claim Irish ancestry, second only to German and 7 times Ireland's population.
WalletHub has compiled the Best Cities for St. Patrick’s Day Celebrations based on things like number of Irish pubs and restaurants per capita; lowest price for a three-star hotel on the holiday; weather; parades, etc…
See how green your ‘hood is…
Seriously. Nevada should be placed in some created Naughty Hall of Fame. Because we all know Vegas is Sin City, and that means Nevada is the sinny-est state in the union. So, when WalletHub does their little research thing to find out the Most Sinful States next year-- we can leave Nevada off the list as permanently sinful.
Spanking Nevada's rear in second is Texas, followed by Florida, California, and Georgia. WalletHub used 47 different metrics to determine the sinning, including: anger and hatred, jealousy, excesses and vices, lust, vanity, and laziness.
See where your state ranks:
We're conflicted. Does a non-top 20 rank mean we should try and be like Vermont (least sinful?) Or should we turn up and get all sinfully competitive?
It’s all about Insta worthiness, isn’t it? (It really isn’t, but…) A gathering isn’t just a gathering. It’s all about the experience. So, get serious about the planning. What’s in? What’s out? The pressure can be so, GAH!
Our friends at The Bash have got us. Phew!
Let’s get the “what’s out” stuff out of here, first.
Generic Party Favors. In 2020 go the extra mile with a personalized gift, such as a memorable photo or a drawing of the guest.
Crack Wise feels: Effort. You said effort. Sigh.
Custom Signs. It's easy to go overboard on party decor, and too many customized signs will distract from the elegance of an event.
Crack Wise feels: Fine. Bye, bye restroom signs…
Vast Guest Lists. Bigger isn't always better! Smaller parties are less expensive and give you quality time with people who mean the most to you.
Crack Wise feels: Yes. We cheap, er… frugal…
Basic String Lights: Fixtures are getting fancy - this year try mixing and matching hanging lanterns with exposed bulbs, glass pendant lights and chandeliers made out of unexpected materials.
Crack Wise feels: Fine. Check out our FAA-violating laser.
So what’s new for 2020?
Venues with picturesque backdrops.
Crack Wise feels: We’ll make sure grandma’s portable toilet is prominent…
Crack Wise feels: Farrah has natural large boobies, so…
Grazing stations will be at all the parties. These buffet style spreads arrange cheese, nuts, fruit, veggies and dips in an eye-catching way.
Crack Wise feels: Who’s bringing the farm animals? Conley?
Clothing trend? Funky accessories! Formal dress is too stuffy and in 2020 fun meets fancy with quirky socks and humorous bowties. Accessories that show off your personality.
Crack Wise feels: Get ready for neon and crocs! No?
Forget the chocolate and roses. Such items are cliche and played-out for Valentine's Day. Have some playtime and make the holiday explode with... well, whatever.
Lovers Family of Stores wants you to join them in celebrating all the love: your curiosity; identity; body type; solo, partnered or group love; vanilla-style love; pleasure... Not only does Lovers offer lingerie and massage oils, but there are educational blogs, in-store seminars, and body-inclusive clothing.
Explore the site, and explore each other.
P.S. We still think chocolate should be included.
Nothing says “romance” more than a quickie… getaway… Actually, there may be other things that say “romance” more, but that’s not the point. The point is: GTFO for Valentine’s Day.
The peeps from Equity Lifestyle have some ideas for your quickie. And we have our own thoughts, random and what-not.
A Romantic Suitcase Surprise
Everyone likes a surprise, so if you already have the weekend getaway plans set and your significant other is in the know, try a suitcase surprise! Depending on where you are going, slip a little something into their suitcase without them knowing. Whether it’s a book by his or her favorite author, a new swimsuit for beach activities, or tickets to an event or show in the area, the surprise gift is an added bonus and sure way to kick off the excitement to a romantic weekend.
Crack Wise-dom: We're afraid of what's in the suitcase.
Make it a “Tiny” Romance
Tiny Houses are all the rage, why not stay in one? They are unique, affordable, romantic, and fun! They also happen to be located in some great, easy to get to locations that can make for a perfect romantic escape. Petite Retreats has multiple tiny house villages across the nation with the newest opening of Sunshine Key Tiny House Village in the Florida Keys just this year
Crack Wise-dom: Aren't some of you making it a *tiny* romance 24/7, 365, gentlemen?
Romance is Avoiding Crowds
If you’re planning the romantic getaway to a big city but want to make it your own, avoid the crowds. For example, New York provides the backdrop of some of the most romantic movies of all time. Rarely will a Romcom or commercial show their characters paying $40+ to wait hours in line before taking a crowded elevator to the 86th floor of the Empire State Building. However, hitting the tree-lined promenade along the East River in the classy neighborhood of Brooklyn Heights, with stunning views of Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty, doesn’t cost much.
Crack Wise-dom: The undies are more likely to drop if there are less people around...
Try Something New
The first time doing something or going someplace new can be exhilarating, stirring up emotions or adrenaline that hasn’t been experienced before. Heading to someplace that is unique to the both of you is not only exciting, it’s romantic! Visiting a new location can be thrilling, and not knowing where to go, what to do, or where to eat, adds to the excitement.
Crack Wise-dom: No. This is not the time to ask for a "third" player...
Get Outside, Go Glamping
Glamping at a campground is the perfect romantic getaway to have a vacation with some hotel-like amenities, while not paying typical hotel rates and still being outdoors getting that fresh air. From yurts, cottages or cabins, check out campgrounds with great vacation rentals such as Rancho Oso RV & Camping Resort. Enjoy endless opportunities for horseback riding, hiking, and photography making this experience full of romantic activities.
Crack Wise-dom: Nothing says "love" like an accidental indecent exposure charge.
Look, choose the Crack Wise V Way:
Grab a small chocolate heart-shaped box of half-eaten candies for your sweetie (You love to share!); make a heart-shaped card from construction paper (Beecause you're creative!); and woo them with your cuteness (Awww, shucks. You didn't cave to commercialism!)
This! Look at this totally adorbs pic!
So what if you don’t have true love on Valentine’s Day? You could have a manatee! Adopt-A-Manatee Club is offering an adoption program for real, living manatees. Memberships start at only $25, and gifts like a handmade manatee heart ornament are included at the $35 and higher level.
As a part of the adoption program, you’ll receive a certificate with a photo, a biography of your manatee, along with newsletters, and social media updates.
Imagine a perfect relationship-- your manatee won’t hog to the covers because she’s too cold; won’t leave the toilet seat up because he’s inconsiderate, or can decide what he/she wants for dinner.
Tis the season for the holiday office party. A time to kick back. A time (for some) to make an ass of yourself. A time to suck up. The holiday party could be the perfect chance to make a good impression on the “big bosses”. Angela Civitella is a business management coach and found of the firm INTINDE. She has some marvelous tips on how to be savvy and not sauced at the big shindig.
Behave yourself. Don’t laugh. You wouldn’t believe how many people forget themselves when staring down a bowl of eggnog. Let’s ration the levels of alcohol consumed in an environment where you can’t afford to lose your mind, or your manners. Oh, and don’t forget to dress like presence matters to you
Crack Wise-dom: Guess we’ll leave the two-fisting for our own holiday party…
Make the first move. Here’s your moment. Here’s where you make it count. Just a little liquid courage (very little) and off you go to introduce yourself to the person who signs your paycheck. Make sure your drink is in your left hand because you don’t want to extend a clammy cold hand to your boss and have that be your first contact with him or her. Remember to clearly state first and last name and do not forget to mention which department you work in. This is very important. Remember, less is more. Don’t be like a bull in a china shop. Be smooth, light and quick. You have eight seconds to make a lasting impression, not eight minutes.
Crack Wise-dom: So we shouldn’t use the boss to balance our unsteadiness on? Check.
Be social. It is a party after all. You certainly don’t want to be seen as a wall flower or as someone who goes to the bathroom all the time because you don’t know how else to circulate the room, right? And don’t talk about work with the boss. Pick any other subject to engage the boss in conversation with. It is considered poor form to discuss at a holiday event something that can be discussed at the office any day of the week.
Crack Wise-dom: But what about a causal conversation about how Sarah is banging three different co-workers? No?
Include their plus one. You would give yourself away as a corporate climber if you do not pay attention to the person accompanying your boss at the event. Be inclusive, ask them questions and show interest in wanting to get to know them. If your boss brought someone to the office holiday party, chances are this person is important to know and to include.
Crack Wise-dom: But don’t sleep with them. That’s bad…
Make an easy and quick exit. Do not overstay your welcome. You are not the only person that should hold the boss’s attention. They need to make sure everyone is enjoying themselves. Be open, be friendly and be on your way.
Crack Wise-dom: Be quick like a dude with whiskey d&ck… Got it.
While the majority of people are all swept up in holiday warmth and sappiness, others want to make the Naughty List.
Our pals at WalletHub have compiled a list of 2019’s Most Sinful Cities in America. To determine the most wicked places in America, WalletHub compared more than 180 U.S. cities based on seven sinful behaviors: anger and hatred, jealousy, excesses and vices, greed, lust, vanity and laziness. (Which makes us want to travel to these horrible places.)
Topping the list, as it should--Las Vegas. The least sinful? Pearl Harbor.
Drop these gems on the family at Christmas dinner:
Irvine, California, has the lowest violent crime rate, 0.56, which is 35.9 times lower than in Detroit, the city with the highest at 20.08.
Fremont, California, has the lowest share of obese adults, 15.30 percent, which is 3.1 times lower than in Detroit, the city with the highest at 47.40 percent.
San Jose, California, has the lowest share of adult smokers, 8.20 percent, which is three times lower than in St. Louis, the city with the highest at 24.69 percent.
West Valley City, Utah, has the fewest beauty salons & spas (per square root of population), 0.184699, which is 36.9 times fewer than in New York, the city with the highest at 6.812589.
How sinful is your city? Find out.
With Black Friday behind us and Cyber Monday in our face, it’s so tempting to just spend, spend, spend on our family and friends. Because it’s Christmas and stuff. But ringing in the New Year with a hefty credit card bill is not fun, nor credit score smart.
Steve Siebold is the author of the book “How Money Works”. He’s a self-made millionaire who has some advice on keeping your spending in check.
Leave your emotions on the shelf: It’s easy to get wrapped up in the spirit of the season, but when it comes to buying gifts this year, leave your emotions on the shelf and let reason be your guide. This is when you must start using logical thinking in the decision-making process. While your spouse might really like that $1,000 necklace, is that really the smartest move if you don’t have the money?
Crack Wise-dom: Buy your spouse Sweet Tarts necklace instead. Say you’re “reliving your youth”. Get ready to sleep in the garage.
Plan ahead: Make a list and check it twice. Before you head to the store, make a list of each person you need to buy for, and allocate a certain amount of money for each of them. Don’t overspend by even a dollar. This is important because if you start overspending by five dollars here and 10 dollars there, it adds up quickly and you can easily go into debt.
Crack Wise-dom: Make your own “Naughty or Nice” list. Determine that 99.9% of the people you know are assh&les. No gifts for them!
Be honest: The last thing your friends and family want is to see you go into debt, or further into debt. Remember, there’s no shame in telling people that this year will be a lean holiday season when it comes to exchanging gifts. People will appreciate your honesty and attention to your finances.
Crack Wise-dom: “Hey, Uncle Larry. You really are a giant douche. So, I don’t want to spend my hard-earned money on you.” #LeanChristmasForYou
Don’t get caught up in the moment: If your shopping cart is overflowing, step back, regroup and make sure you can really afford everything you plan to purchase. While there are some good deals to be had, don’t fall for marketing campaigns that make you feel as if you’re getting a great deal when you’re really not (i.e. buy it today – pay for it tomorrow). The key is to be mentally tough to know when enough is enough.
Crack Wise-dom: We don’t need an 85-inch 4k TV. Our home isn’t even 85-inches big.
Don’t pull out the plastic: Don’t even think of using a credit card unless you are 100% sure you can comfortably pay it off at the end of the month. The last thing anyone needs is to get hit with high interest rates and a blemish on their credit score. Ask yourself this critical thinking question: Would I rather have the short-term satisfaction of expensive material possessions, or the long-term results of financial freedom and abundance?
Crack Wise-dom: The only plastic we’re interested in is the containers with the leftovers. What are we talking about here?
Learn from the past: Did you overspend last holiday season or some other year in the past? Remember how it set you back financially? Remember how bad it felt when you opened up your credit card statement and realized you couldn’t pay it all? Revisit that pain and how miserable you felt before you start shopping this holiday season.
Crack Wise-dom: Remember how it hurt getting kicked in the nuts? Yeah. That.
Haus of V is a creative collective that shares a similar mindset -- with a twist.