Funformation
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In case you didn't know, the Super Bowl is an event. Not just the hype over the broadcast, the game, and the halftime show. We're talkin' about your gathering. Whether it's with a bunch of people or you and your fur baby, the Big Game is all about the vibe. Which usually revolves around food. Lots of snackable bites that will leave us with regret after the championship trophy is hoisted. Our collective jaw dropped to the floor when we learned that wings are no longer at the top of the Super Bowl food list. How could this be? Meatballs! What!?!? Not that we've turned down a tasty ball in our mouth, but wings and football seem to go hand-in-band like jockstraps and fruitbowls. The lowly wing has dropped to 6th according to what people are Googling. Okay then. Here's a meatball recipe. Slow Cooker Bourbon Meatballs *recipe courtesy of theblondcook Ingredients: 2 cups prepared barbecue sauce (I used hickory and brown sugar flavor) 1 cup bourbon ½ cup honey ⅓ cup molasses ¼ cup sweet chili sauce 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 2 pounds fully cooked frozen meatballs, thawed Fresh chopped parsley, for garnish (if desired) Instructions: Stir together barbecue sauce, bourbon, honey, molasses, chili sauce and Worcestershire sauce in a medium bowl until combined. Place meatballs in your slow cooker insert. Cover with sauce and stir to coat meatballs evenly. Cover and cook on low heat for 4 hours. Sprinkle with fresh chopped parsley before serving, if desired. Some things are not surprising. Like the most popular place for all things bagel is NYC. You can get a bagel just about everywhere, and they're all so tasty. Lawn Love knows a thing or 10 about bagels. How? We have no idea. Maybe grass and bagels go hand in schmear. Check out these nifty factoids about bagels. You might be even be able to impress someone with this rando knowledge. And why aren't we celebrating the bagel more often? They're not just for breakfast. Here's a tasty meal you can shove in your mouth outside of breakfast. BAGEL BURGERS WITH DILL PICKLE CREAM CHEESE*recipe courtesy of Rebecca Lindamood Ingredients per burger: Dill Pickle Dip Grilled burger patty 1 pumpernickel or everything bagel split for toasting Olive oil Mixed spring greens or lettuce of choice Instructions: Drizzle olive oil over the cut sides of the bagel. Toast, oiled side down, until the bagel is golden brown. Let it cool for 5 minutes, then assemble your burger by first spreading dill pickle dip generously on the bottom half of the bagel, stacking on a grilled burger patty, handful of greens or lettuce and the top half of the toasted bagel. Did you know that Piroshky Piroshky is a famous European-inspired bakery in Seattle? Exactly. But they're so famous that it's a big deal when they roll up at stops throughout the US-- like the Peach Truck. So, when we got the tip that the P.P. truck was gonna be in our area, we were intrigued. Here's how it works: Guests select their best-selling pies online at piroshkybakery.com ahead of their visit. Their piroshky is then hand-made and made-to-order. Then the item is flash frozen and then delivered for pick up on the event day. Feelin' like the Piroshky Police is gonna bust us if we don't order properly! Anywho, if P.P. ain't comin' your way-- make your own. Taylor's Piroshki *courtesy of allrecipes Ingredients: 1 ½ pounds ground beef 1 onion, finely chopped 1 teaspoon salt ground black pepper to taste dried dill weed to taste 1 (.25 ounce) package active dry yeast ¼ cup warm water 1 cup milk 3 eggs ½ cup vegetable oil 2 tablespoons granulated sugar 1 teaspoon salt 4 cups all-purpose flour 3 cups oil for frying Instructions: In a medium skillet over medium heat, cook the ground beef until evenly browned; drain. Stir in the onion and cook with the beef until translucent. Sprinkle in salt, pepper and dill weed to taste. Allow to cool before using. Dissolve the yeast in the 1/4 cup of warm water and place in a warm location until frothy, about 10 to 15 minutes. In a medium saucepan over low heat, warm the milk and gently whisk in the eggs, oil, sugar and salt. Remove from heat. Place half the flour in a large mixing bowl and gradually stir in the milk mixture. Then add the yeast solution alternately with the remaining flour, stirring after each addition. Mix well. Knead until the dough forms a ball and does not stick to the bowl. (Note: Start with the 4 cups of flour. You may need to add more, a little at a time, as you knead the dough). Cover the bowl with a clean cloth. Set in a warm location and allow to rise until doubled in volume. Remove dough from bowl and place on a lightly floured surface. Pinch off pieces approximately the size of golf balls. Roll the pieces into disks about 3 1/2 to 4 inches in diameter. Fill center of each disk with a heaping tablespoon of the cooled meat mixture. Fold disks over the mixture and firmly pinch edges to seal. Arrange on a flat surface and allow to sit approximately 10 minutes. In a large, heavy skillet or deep fryer, heat the oil to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Deep fry the piroshki in batches until golden brown on one side; gently turn and fry the other side. Remove and let drain on a plate lined with paper towels. Can someone make these for us? Because we're too damned tired to do all this "homemade/scratch made" stuff... Can you hear that? It's the pounds that you're going to pile on this holiday season. Don't fret, though, because we're right with you. There is never a shortage of treats to get into since Halloween through the last day of the current year. But which treat really gets those flab rolls a flabbin' some more? According to Wisevoter, we love us some cheesecake. It tops the list in 28 states for favorite holiday goodie. Sugar cookies are second most popular, followed by cinnamon rolls. Get on Santa's good side for next year by leaving him a slice when he pops in. Holiday Cheesecake Squares*recipe courtesy of Kraft Ingredients: 1-1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs 1/3 cup butter, melted 3 Tbsp. sugar 3 pkg. (8 oz. each) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened 3/4 cup sugar 1 tsp. vanilla 3 eggs suggested decorations: decorating gels, colored sprinkles Instructions: Heat oven to 350°F. Mix graham crumbs, butter and 3 Tbsp. sugar; press onto bottom of 13x9-inch pan. Beat cream cheese, 3/4 cup sugar and vanilla with mixer until blended. Add eggs; mix just until blended. Pour over crust. Bake 30 min. or until center is almost set. Cool. Refrigerate 3 hours. Cut into bars. Decorate with gels and sprinkles to resemble presents. The fruit that led to the downfall of mankind happens to be our favorite: Apples. But more importantly, there's an entire day dedicated to the Opal Apple. And that day is December 9th. Why? We don't really know. Perhaps that was the day that this hybrid apple was created (it's a cross between a Golden Delicious and a Topaz Apple), or it was the only day their money could buy to make it a "holiday". Whatever. Guess this uniquely crunchy, sweet and tangy temptress should be enjoyed-- especially since they don't brown. What? P.S. We'd prefer a Diamond Apple over an Opal, because it's the better gem.. Well, to celebrate-- try this apple recipe-- whether you use Opals or not! Apple Pecan Loaf Cake* recipe by Kitchen Confidante Ingredients: 2 cups flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon 1/2 cup unsalted butter 1 cup brown sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 egg 1 cup buttermilk 2 apples, diced, about 2 cups (Opal® Apples were beautiful in this) 1/2 cup pecans, crushed, divided Instructions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare 2 loaf pans (I used 1.5 lb pans measuring 10x5x3 inches) by lightly coating with baking spray (or butter), and lining with parchment paper. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon, and set aside. In the bowl of an electric mixer, cream butter and sugar together. Add vanilla and egg, mix well, scraping down the sides of the bowl with a spatula. Add the buttermilk and flour mixture in batches, alternating. Stir in the apples and 1/4 cup of pecans. Divide the batter into two loaf pans. Bake for about 30 minutes, or until golden, and a toothpick inserted comes out clean. Let it cool in the pans for about 5 minutes, then gently transfer to a wire rack to cool. While the loaves are still warm, spoon some caramel sauce over the tops and sprinkle with pecans. Serve warm or at room temperature. How did you get here so fast, Labor Day? While many of you will still grill, because, nobody puts grill in the corner (until it’s really time,) the holiday is considered the last hurrah of summer that gathers people together. Might as well wow ‘em with this appetizer while the main course is being grilled. Taco Pinwheels *recipe & picture courtesy of Taste of Home Ingredients: 4 ounces cream cheese, softened 3/4 cup Seasoned Taco Meat 1/4 cup finely shredded cheddar cheese 1/4 cup salsa 2 tablespoons mayonnaise 2 tablespoons chopped ripe olives 2 tablespoons finely chopped onion 5 flour tortillas (8 inches), room temperature 1/2 cup shredded lettuce Additional salsa Instructions: In a small bowl, beat the cream cheese until smooth. Stir in the taco meat, cheese, salsa, mayonnaise, olives and onion. Spread over tortillas. Sprinkle with lettuce; roll up tightly. Wrap securely and refrigerate for at least 1 hour. Unwrap and cut into 1-in. pieces. Serve with additional salsa. For some, hot sauce is life. We like a nice heat factor from time-to-time—not the sear-our-brains-and-burn-the-butthole kind of heat. But hey, whatever floats your stomach. If you’ve been meaning to have more sauce in your life, well, this is for you, Crack Wisers. Fuego Box is the hot sauce of the month club you crave. Imagine keepin’ it hot long after Summer is over… But if you’re not a fan of all that heat, Fuego Box has other flavor boxes for your palate. How about the Bourbon Barrel Aged Hot Hive Spicy Honey, or the Blazing BBQ Gift Box, or the Fuego Spice Co. Spicy Salt Trio? Here’s how the whole subscription thing works: People will fight over anything. Notice we didn’t say debate. Because social media makes everybody a keyboard pugilist. One knock-down-drag-out that will never die: Is a hot dog a sandwich? Fifty-seven percent of those surveyed say the hot dog is a sandwich, according to RTA Outdoor Living. While technically we agree that a hot dog is a sandwich, we feel hot dogs and hamburgers are in their own category. Don’t ask our logic, just accept this Crack Wisedom and shut it! Let’s say you’ve got too many wieners lying around, and you’re tired of putting one between the buns. Here’s a recipe to try, courtesy of Delish. Hot Dog Fried RiceIngredients: 1 tbsp. butter 1/2 Onion, finely chopped 3 medium carrots, peeled and diced 2 hot dogs, sliced into coins and halved 1 Garlic clove, minced 1 tbsp. sesame oil 2 1/2 c. cooked white rice 2 eggs, lightly beaten 2/3 c. frozen peas 2 tbsp. soy sauce 1 scallion, thinly sliced Instructions: In a large skillet over medium heat, melt butter. Add onions, carrots, and hot dogs and cook until onions become translucent, 3-5 minutes. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add sesame oil to the pan and let heat 1 minute add the rice, and let cook for 3 minutes. Push rice to one side of the pan and add the eggs, scrambling them in the pan and incorporating them into the rice when they are fully cooked. Add the peas and the soy sauce and stir to combine. Top with scallions if desired and serve. State Fairs are back, baby! And so many memories are associated with going to the fair. Family bonding. The rides. Cute, smelly animals. Sweating from places you shouldn’t. And--the food. Yes, food is the #1 reason people love going to fairs—whether it’s the community fair or the state fair. So, why not start pre-gaming for the fair with a tasty state fair-inspired treat you can whip up at home? Crack Wise Nug: July 11th is National State Fair Food Day. There’s your excuse. Deep Fried Oreos*recipe courtesy of cookiesandcups.com Ingredients: 2 quarts (approximate) vegetable oil for frying 1 cup Bisquick 2/3 cup milk 1 teaspoon vegetable oil 1 egg 15 Oreo cookies Powdered sugar for dusting Instructions: Fill a deep skillet or Dutch Oven 2 – 3 inches deep with vegetable oil. Heat the vegetable oil over medium heat until it reaches 350°F. While the oil is heating, whisk the Bisquick, milk, 1 teaspoon vegetable oil, and egg together. Line a large plate with paper towels and set aside. Working in batches of 3, drop each Oreo into the batter, and using a fork, remove the Oreo from the batter, tapping off excess, and place directly into the hot oil. Fry the Oreos 3 minutes on each side until golden brown. Using a slotted spoon, remove the fried Oreos from the oil and transfer to lined plate to absorb excess oil. When the Oreos have cooled, and are no longer hot, dust with powdered sugar. Grilling and Summer go hand-in-hand. So why not grill this up wherever your grill is (even if it’s on a boat)! Marine Max held a contest for best boating recipe. Here’s one that will get it done. “It” meaning—fill your belly. *Recipe courtesy of Renee Reff Chicken KabobsIngredients: Cubes of chicken breast cut into 2 or 3 inches Onions cut into 2 or 3 inches Fresh mushrooms Red and green peppers cut into 2 or 3 inch-pieces Barbecue Sauce Instructions: Marinade everything in your barbecue sauce of choice. Refrigerate. Alternate chicken and veggies onto skewers. Put skewers on grill and turn every 7 minutes, brushing with more barbecue sauce until done. |
AuthorThe cracked Crack Wise Staff-- warriors of the Funformation Movement. Archives
January 2024
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