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CRACK WISE MAG

etc.

Inside the mind of Crack Wise Editor-in-Chief Kathy Vogel

The Kid is Not My Son

10/9/2019

 
I pray to Sweet Baby Jesus that neither I, nor any of my friends or family, fall victim to some scamming asshat. These ingrown ball hairs need to legit get a job and stop taking from others.

But I must give this loser some props. Because a majority of us haven't fallen for the Nigerian prince thing, or the "one of your long lost relatives put you in their will".

But Billie, from China has quite the proposition for me:
 
Hello kathy (Names are capitalized in this country)
Hope you are doing well. (You don't give two efffs. Drop the b.s.)
I am Billie for China.I was going through your website (Which one?), and I'm writingtoexplore (So excited you're slurring your words together?) possible business opportunities.
Joawa Plastic Mould Company (Shouldn't this be a lead company? It is China...) is medium and small-scale accurate plastic mould company,We accept all kinds of molding tool design & manufacturing, plastic production and assembles etc. (Nice punctuation.)
We have been the supplier of many European andAmerican factoriesfor 10 years. we could also have good cooperation withyou. (I don't cooperate with known dbags.)
If you areinterested in a protential (Is a pro-tential project for pros only?) project,Please email us to get afull proposal. (What's afull proposal? Sounds tedious.)
Thanks & Regards,
Billie

 
I don't know what to do here. Such an obvious wonderful opportunity here. There was a document attached to this email that I obviously refused to open. I'm sure that's where the phishing would take place.

Kudus to the not-obvious play of not asking for my bank account info right away. Nor telling me how much I "inherited."

But all I could think about while reading was this:
1. How many people in China are named "Billie"? Are there a plethora of Billie Wangs and Billie Dongs and Billie Hungs running around Tiananmen Square?
 
2. And is this the true identity of Billie Jean from Jacko's song? The song was running through my mind while trying to take this all seriously... not.
​


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    Author

    Editor-in-chief Kathy Vogel shares what's on her mind... through her fingers. 

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