I have no idea what this latest scam could be, because I refuse to link click into a rabbit hole of computer takeover or all-access to my life. But I’ve gotten this twice through my contact form section through my website www.hausofv.com:

Submitted Information:
Name
CrystalAnach CrystalAnach
Email
office@raw-burgsteiner.com
Company Name
CrystalAnachWK
Comment
We would like to inform that you liked a comment ID:35915743 in a social network , January 9, 2019 at 19:48
This like has been randomly selected to win the seasonal «Like Of The Year» 2019 award!
http://facebook.com+prize+@1310252231/7WJ9j

The overachiever in me would love to be an award winner. Because back-in-the-day, I’d get some cash from mom and dad and a toy that I wanted. But methinks this is no award. Though I’m curious if I’m getting props for my fabulous wit from a social media comment. But I know that I rarely comment on people’s posts, so, nice try.

I love how “Like of The Year” awards are handed out before the year is actually over…

Toolbags. 

I pray to Sweet Baby Jesus that neither I, nor any of my friends or family, fall victim to some scamming asshat. These ingrown ball hairs need to legit get a job and stop taking from others.

But I must give this loser some props. Because a majority of us haven't fallen for the Nigerian prince thing, or the "one of your long lost relatives put you in their will".

But Billie, from China has quite the proposition for me:
 
Hello kathy (Names are capitalized in this country)
Hope you are doing well. (You don't give two efffs. Drop the b.s.)
I am Billie for China.I was going through your website (Which one?), and I'm writingtoexplore (So excited you're slurring your words together?) possible business opportunities.
Joawa Plastic Mould Company (Shouldn't this be a lead company? It is China...) is medium and small-scale accurate plastic mould company,We accept all kinds of molding tool design & manufacturing, plastic production and assembles etc. (Nice punctuation.)
We have been the supplier of many European andAmerican factoriesfor 10 years. we could also have good cooperation withyou. (I don't cooperate with known dbags.)
If you areinterested in a protential (Is a pro-tential project for pros only?) project,Please email us to get afull proposal. (What's afull proposal? Sounds tedious.)
Thanks & Regards,
Billie
 
I don't know what to do here. Such an obvious wonderful opportunity here. There was a document attached to this email that I obviously refused to open. I'm sure that's where the phishing would take place.

Kudus to the not-obvious play of not asking for my bank account info right away. Nor telling me how much I "inherited."

But all I could think about while reading was this:
1. How many people in China are named "Billie"? Are there a plethora of Billie Wangs and Billie Dongs and Billie Hungs running around Tiananmen Square?
 
2. And is this the true identity of Billie Jean from Jacko's song? The song was running through my mind while trying to take this all seriously... not.
​

Not only can you find cool stuff on Wish for a fraction of the price around these parts, you can get some damned good entertainment. One night, the hubs and I spent a good hour (or more) looking up products and LOL-ing at the lost-in-translation product descriptions.

Priceless.

Now, Wish has crossed the line. And we love it. I would've posted this straight-up to the Facebook Crack Wise page-- but surely someone would complain at the "offensive" content. Because it's a dick pick. For real.
​

Surely, you'll want to gift your man with the towel on the left?

This might make an excellent stocking stuffer for a male in your life, be it friend, lover, brother... Or someone you don't like gets the towel on the bottom right...
​
Enjoy for your dick towel!

Somehow, fanny packs are back “in” fashion. I’m not sure they were ever fashionable to begin with, but….

They’ve been renamed. I suppose it’s to take away the stigma of some slob wearing a bag around their waist. So now they’re called “belt bags.”

Whatever! Still a FANNY PACK.

Sure, back in the day I had quite a few fanny packs. I was younger, with the mentality of a senior citizen. I wore such a hideous bag only when going to an amusement park. Made sense. It was sensible.

Now, fanny packs are belt bags and are actually really cute. Like this one from Venus:

​When I think belt bag, I think fanny pack—and this:

So, should I get a belt bag? I’m not fashionable, so slipping into re-named-fanny-pack-dom might be acceptable…

P.S. And no one wore such a bag near their fanny. It always rides on the hip or front side. Duh! But I suppose "gut pack" wasn't as cutesy.

I’m just going to start by saying, I know I’m not perfect. Very far from it. I have flaws. I have issues. But I check myself. Especially before posting to social media.

My hot mess cousin provides much entertainment on the Facebook. When she wasn’t putting it out there that she was trying catch some money-loaded “D”, or pushing her short-lived Mary Kay business (and getting upset after two days that no one wanted to buy stuff “to support her”), she vomits deep-thought advice. Like this:
​

​“Everybody wants to be someone else… why not just be yourself? Bc someone out there wants to be you as well”

Deep. But hypocritical considering you used a Snapchat filter on yo face for your profile pic. Filter = not real = being someone/something you’re not.
​
Personally, I’m a filter fan. I want a real-life filter on my face 24/7. But I also don’t tell people to be real, while I’m using my filter. So, girl. Check yo self. 

​I snapped this pic while I was out and about…

So… liquidators are being liquidated? That’s ironic and harsh. Sounds like a liquidating Hunger Games. Times are tough…

In addition to Crack Wise-ing, I work in radio. Most of my career has been spent doing morning radio. And most times, my name has been a part of the title of the show. It’s usually how things work. I find it amusing when the industry makes a big deal out of a female lead on a morning show. I get it. Many women are in the #2 chair—so when a woman leads—holy sh$t!

To me, this was never a motivation—leading a morning show. The best talent should lead and mentor the other players. I’ve led morning shows. I’ve also been fortunate in that on the male-led shows, I’ve been treated as an equal.
Check out this ad for Bob & Sheri:
​

Oooh, led by a woman! That’s the best marketing you’ve got? That should be my motivation to listen? Sigh. But the irony is that Bob’s name is first on a female-led show. True, “Bob & Sheri” flows better than “Sheri & Bob” but usually the lead gets top billing.
​
So. Close. 

On a recent breakfast trip, I came across this on the menu:

Interesting name for a breakfast dish. And after reading the contents, how is this “complex”? I was expecting some bowl-full-of-millennial-angst—like, avocado and quinoa and kale. With a side of kombucha.

This meal sounds delicious.

Are they trying to scare customers off from trying the Complexity Bowl? Is it because they don’t want to hollow out bread to make a bowl? This really is complex, after all.

I opted for something else. But next time, breakfast will get more “complex.” LOL

Wait... I don't like sourdough. But I like all the other ingredients. Indeed, complex.

Sometimes, Facebook makes me happy. Like when they show me an ad for something I want.

Do you know how much I loved my Gameboy? And, this is a bag—which I love bags. And it lights up! And, the price is right!

I don’t know how much I can fit into this, but I want to try. Isn’t it funny how the little things make you smile?
​
Now, I need to wrap this up so I can go play Tetris.

And please with the screengrab for your ad—a dude. A dude for Hiscox insurance!?!? I have the maturity of a 13-year-old boy! And, this man looks as if he’s gazing up to Heaven begging for some miracle with his c*ck. Like, “Please let the Viagra work!” Plus, I don’t see where his hands are… and that leaves me with many other inappropriate thoughts.

Nice slogan: “encourage courage”. Courage to get Hiscox? I’m picky about whosecox, okay?