In addition to Crack Wise-ing, I work in radio. Most of my career has been spent doing morning radio. And most times, my name has been a part of the title of the show. It’s usually how things work. I find it amusing when the industry makes a big deal out of a female lead on a morning show. I get it. Many women are in the #2 chair—so when a woman leads—holy sh$t!

To me, this was never a motivation—leading a morning show. The best talent should lead and mentor the other players. I’ve led morning shows. I’ve also been fortunate in that on the male-led shows, I’ve been treated as an equal.
Check out this ad for Bob & Sheri:
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Oooh, led by a woman! That’s the best marketing you’ve got? That should be my motivation to listen? Sigh. But the irony is that Bob’s name is first on a female-led show. True, “Bob & Sheri” flows better than “Sheri & Bob” but usually the lead gets top billing.
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So. Close. 

On a recent breakfast trip, I came across this on the menu:

Interesting name for a breakfast dish. And after reading the contents, how is this “complex”? I was expecting some bowl-full-of-millennial-angst—like, avocado and quinoa and kale. With a side of kombucha.

This meal sounds delicious.

Are they trying to scare customers off from trying the Complexity Bowl? Is it because they don’t want to hollow out bread to make a bowl? This really is complex, after all.

I opted for something else. But next time, breakfast will get more “complex.” LOL

Wait... I don't like sourdough. But I like all the other ingredients. Indeed, complex.

Sometimes, Facebook makes me happy. Like when they show me an ad for something I want.

Do you know how much I loved my Gameboy? And, this is a bag—which I love bags. And it lights up! And, the price is right!

I don’t know how much I can fit into this, but I want to try. Isn’t it funny how the little things make you smile?
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Now, I need to wrap this up so I can go play Tetris.

And please with the screengrab for your ad—a dude. A dude for Hiscox insurance!?!? I have the maturity of a 13-year-old boy! And, this man looks as if he’s gazing up to Heaven begging for some miracle with his c*ck. Like, “Please let the Viagra work!” Plus, I don’t see where his hands are… and that leaves me with many other inappropriate thoughts.

Nice slogan: “encourage courage”. Courage to get Hiscox? I’m picky about whosecox, okay?

I’m on a celebrity (whether legit or reality TV famous) rant this week. Next up for rebuking- Miley Cyrus.

She’s so angry that she wasn’t nominated for a 2019 MTV Video Music Award th she refuses to perform at the show.

You show ‘em!

Considering your one video for that one song is NSFW, what did you expect?

And here’s a thought: perhaps your videos suck.

​At least we won't have to see this:

I used to hate reality TV. As a writer, I vowed to not stray from scripted television. I totally identify with writers that slave over their craft, that are so connected to their work that it drives them batty at times.

But then one day—I caved. Hard core. I needed to turn my brain off. I didn’t want to invest my emotions or brain into a scripted show. I just wanted mindless entertainment. And that’s exactly what you get with reality TV. Mind you, I still watch plenty of scripted TV. But nothing makes me feel better about myself than watching idiots act like idiots on “reality” TV.

I enjoy watching Vanderpump Rules on Bravo. A bunch of friends that work at Sur Restaurant owned by the ultra-fab Lisa Vanderpump. These people are all young and beautiful and, sadly, wealthier than you and I. But I digress. This blog post is about cast members Tom & Katie. They’re married in real life. Now.
See. The two got married on the show in 2016. Very pricey, very TV wedding. The two got married for a second time in Vegas. This piqued my curiosity. I can see a vow renewal at five years, but at the three year mark?

Then the truth came out—these two twits were never legally married in 2016. They failed to properly fill out their paperwork. Seriously? The paperwork ain’t hard. But conveniently, their second REAL marriage was filmed for the upcoming season of the show. Whew!
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Please. Don’t have children. I’m pretty sure your kid legally won’t have a name because of all that “difficult” paperwork.

I’m a foodie. I love food. I dream of food. I like to eat food. I obsess over food. I have food guilt. And… I like to save money. So, I’ll buy a Groupon for a restaurant I like when it pops up. Groupon also likes to recommend deals on dining. But this. THIS looks completely unappetizing.

Is it supposed to be a sandwich piled with canned mushrooms, canned olives, un-melted cheese, and undercooked fries? Or is this supposed to be loaded fries? While I love the components of this sandwich/sub, this presentation looks like a pile of hurl. Perhaps it’s the poor lighting. Or perhaps this sub is actually gross.

This is the best you’ve got to sell me on a deal for your subs? Week old chipped beef may be more appealing. And I don’t know anyone that’s “dying” for chipped beef…

I must live under a rock. Because I have no idea who Dickie Goodman was. Apparently, he was the king of novelty, best known for the “break-in” technique of using clips of popular songs or whatever to answer comedic questions. He’s best known for scoring a Top 5 hit in 1975 with “Mr. Jaws”—a parody of the movie.

His son, Jon, is carrying on the tradition with “Greatest Trump.” I think it’s a President Trump parody, but I’m not really sure. Because it’s not really funny.
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To me, the audio is no better than an elementary school kid editing stuff together. So if this is a “tradition” he’s upholding… then either the original was lame or he’s lame…

I hate people telling you what to do through their “preachy” articles. For example: “What a woman over 30 shouldn’t wear”; “What men over 35 shouldn’t have in their home”: etc…

Why? Because I’m grown and I will live my own damn life the way I want to. Also, the twits that wrote these articles are probably younger than me. So basically, eff off.

I saw this little article on the Facebook: “45 Things No Woman Over 40 Ever Needs in Her Home.”

Oh, really? Bring. It.

I flipped through the slideshow. Then came across this tip about expired spices. Notice the accompanying pic?
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I believe these fools (not Getty Images) thought it read: “Dinner”, but bitch— “dinner” has two ns. This is Dye-nur. D-I-N-E-R as in “place to eat.”

#Fail
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Tell me what I need to do in my life again? HA!

Pinterest strikes again with its randomness. This is one reason why I love social media—it brings out the… how should put this? It brings out the eccentric folk. That’s being nice…

Since I’m a foodie and will save a gajillion recipes that I will never be alive long enough to make, I found a recipe for Taco Tater Tots Two Ways for the slow cooker. Who doesn’t love tots? The name alone is cute, and—fried potatoes.
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But as with any social media platform, the comments are golden—or bizarre.
I noticed there was a comment with this “pin”. So I clicked on it. 
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​No comment made. Just a picture of these two. Are these the taco tater tots in two ways? Did these two like the recipe and that’s why they’re smiling. Or are their nicknames for each other Tater and Tot?
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Or perhaps, they are one of many who don’t know how to “social media”. Which is okay. Because it’s gold for the rest of us…