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CRACK WISE MAG

conley's corner

Comedian Mike Conley's arena for shenanigans and tomfoolery...

    JOIN THE FUNFORMATION MOVEMENT!

    And don't worry. We won't spam you or sell your info. We don't have that kind of time... or motivation. 
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Stroked Out

8/12/2022

 
When the heat is on, it can damage you if you're not careful. Don't be a victim of heat-related illness. And take Conley's advice on what not to stroke. Conley's Corner is the only corner you want to be in.

Drink Recipe of the Week: Salty Nut Shot

Ingredients:
2 oz. Frangelico liquor
1 1/2 oz. Nutliquor Vodka
2 T. creamy peanut butter
1 T. heavy cream

For rimming the glass:
2 T. crushed peanuts
1 T. kosher salt

What to do:
Take the heavy cream and pour it over the peanut butter in a small dish. Heat in the microwave for 15 seconds then stir until smooth. Mix the crushed peanuts and salt together in a small bowl and pour out into a shallow dish. Slightly wet the rims of each shot glass and then dip into the peanut and salt mixture. Add the Frangelico, the vodka and the peanut butter mixture to a shaker with ice. Shake well and strain into 2 shot glasses. Draaank!

Conley's Next Live Show:


You Look Mahvelous

8/5/2022

 
Attraction is more than your looks, thank goodness. Your character traits determine your true attraction. We'll touch on that, while Conley touches on something else.

Drink Recipe of the Week: Porn Star

Ingredients:
2 oz. Vanilla Vodka
1 oz. Passion Fruit Liqueur
1/2 oz. Passionfruit Puree
Prosecco
Garnish: Passion Fruit

What to do:
Cut passion fruit in half. Scoop out the seeds from one half into base of glass and add ice. 2. Add vanilla vodka, passion fruit liqueur and passion fruit puree. Shake well to mix.  Strain mix into martini glass and garnish with half a passionfruit. Fill a shot glass with prosecco and sip in turn with the cocktail. Money (shot)!

Conley's Next Live Performance:

What:  Mike Conley Headlines 
When: Aug. 5th & 6th | 7:20 & 9:20 pm showtimes
Where: Funny Stop Comedy Club | 1757 State Rd, Cuyahoga Falls, OH  

Call 330-923-4700 for showtimes and reservations.
​


Bock 'Til You Drop

7/29/2022

 
Today is National Chicken Wing Day! Do you know how the day got started? Do you know how to celebrate? That's what we're here for... and more. The "more" stuff comes from Conley.

Drink Recipe of the Week: Beergarita

Picture

Ingredients:

3 tablespoons (1 ½ ounces) tequila blanco or reposado*
2 tablespoons (1 ounce) Cointreau
2 tablespoons (1 ounce) fresh lime juice
½ cup (4 ounces) chilled beer (lager for classic taste, hoppy IPA with citrus notes for something more interesting)
Ice, to serve
Garnish: lime wheel
Optional: kosher salt for salt rim

What to do:
Optional: Cut a notch in a lime wedge, then run the lime around the rim of a glass. Dip the edge of the rim into a plate of flaky sea salt or Margarita salt. Add tequila, Cointreau and lime juice to the serving glass and stir to combine. Add ice and pour beer over top. Garnish with a lime wheel. Cheers!

Conley's Next Live Show:

What:  Mike Conley Headlines 
When: Aug. 5th & 6th | 7:20 & 9:20 pm showtimes
Where: Funny Stop Comedy Club | 1757 State Rd, Cuyahoga Falls, OH  

Call 330-923-4700 for showtimes and reservations.
​


Pee You

7/22/2022

 
We don't mean to piss you off, but sometimes the tink stinks. We share some causes for it that you may not be aware. (The more you know!) Then Conley shares his "time and place" advice.

Drink Recipe of the Week: Stinky Weasel

Picture
Ingredients:
1 part rum
1 part Tequila, white
1 part Lemon Juice
2 dashes sugar
​
What to do:
Combine ingredients in a shot glass, adding the sugar last. Stir. Drink. Don’t stink.

Conley's Next Live Show:

What:  Mike Conley Headlines 
When: Aug. 5th & 6th | 7:20 & 9:20 pm showtimes
Where: Funny Stop Comedy Club | 1757 State Rd, Cuyahoga Falls, OH  

Call 330-923-4700 for showtimes and reservations.
​


Give It Away Now

7/15/2022

 
July 15th is National Give Something Away Day. If we're honest, we have a lot of stuff that we don't need, but someone else could use. But, Conley warns, there are some things you shouldn't give away. 

Drink Recipe of the Week: Kiss On the Lips

Picture
Ingredients:
1 cup frozen mango chunks
1 1/2 ounces Malibu Rum OR flavored vodka
1 1/2 ounces peach schnapps
1 tablespoon grenadine, or to taste
Maraschino cherries and pineapple, optional for garnishing

What to do:
To the canister of a blender, add the mango, rum or vodka, peach schnapps, and blend on high-speed to incorporate. If desired, add more mango (or ice) for a thicker consistency.
​
Pour into a glass, drizzle with grenadine to taste, stir in the grenadine if desired or just let gravity do the work, optionally garnish with maraschino cherries and pineapple. Guzzle immediately. 

Conley's Next Live Show:

What:  Mike Conley Headlines 
When: Aug. 5th & 6th | 7:20 & 9:20 pm showtimes
Where: Funny Stop Comedy Club | 1757 State Rd, Cuyahoga Falls, OH  

Call 330-923-4700 for showtimes and reservations.
​


Tea Totally

7/8/2022

 
Oh, quit your hatin'! Green tea is delicious and good for you. We share the health benefits, while Conley reminds us of some other "T"s that might be beneficial. Buckle up, kiddos!

Drink Recipe of the Week: Angel's Tit

Picture

Ingredients:

1 Part Cream
1 Part Maraschino Liqueur
1 Whole Maraschino Cherry

What to do:
Add all ingredients into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a Maraschino Cherry.

Conley's Next Live Show:

What:  Mike Conley Headlines 
When: Aug. 5th & 6th | 7:20 & 9:20 pm showtimes
Where: Funny Stop Comedy Club | 1757 State Rd, Cuyahoga Falls, OH  

Call 330-923-4700 for showtimes and reservations.
​


Red, White, & What?

7/1/2022

 
Sure. You could celebrate the 4th of July with a cookout and fireworks. But why not add a twist? We've got some good ideas, and some Conley-suggested bad ones. 

Drink Recipe of the Week: Long Island Iced Tea

Picture

Ingredients:

3/4 ounce vodka
3/4 ounce white rum
3/4 ounce silver tequila
3/4 ounce gin
3/4 ounce triple sec
3/4 ounce simple syrup
3/4 ounce lemon juice, freshly squeezed
Cola, to top
Garnish: lemon wedge
​
What to do:
Add the vodka, rum, tequila, gin, triple sec, simple syrup and lemon juice to a Collins glass filled with ice. Top with a splash of the cola and stir briefly. Garnish with a lemon wedge. Serve with a straw.

Conley's Next Live Show:

What:  Mike Conley Headlines 
When: Aug. 5th & 6th | 7:20 & 9:20 pm showtimes
Where: Funny Stop Comedy Club | 1757 State Rd, Cuyahoga Falls, OH  

Call 330-923-4700 for showtimes and reservations.
​


Spaced Out

6/24/2022

 
It's World UFO Day! Whether you believe in aliens or not, why not celebrate! (It's an excuse to get a little cray cray.) Plus, Conley will get you ready for any potential close encounter...

Drink Recipe of the Week: Space Gin Smash

Picture

​Ingredients:
6 Mint leaves
Lemon
2 Seedless green grapes
Green apple
33/100 oz Simple syrup
1 1/4 oz Tanqueray gin
Garnish: apple slice fan
Garnish: mint sprig
Garnish: green grape
​
What to do:
In a shaker, muddle the mint, lemon, grapes, apple, and simple syrup. Add the gin and fill with ice. Shake, and strain into a rocks glass filled with fresh cracked ice. Garnish with an apple fan, a mint sprig, and a grape.

Conley's Next Live Show:

What:  Comedy with the Cops XVIII
When:  Sat. June 25th | 8:00 pm
Where: Fraternal Order of Police Akron Lodge 7 | 2610 Ley Dr, Akron, Ohio

Crazy as it sounds ... it's COMEDY WITH THE COPS - 18! The Akron FOP Auxiliary #1 once again helps brings the laughs to Ley Drive.

SATURDAY, JUNE 25TH, 8PM ... the Four Horsemen of Northeast Ohio Comedy will ride in to the pavilion of the FOP #7 Lodge for a memorable night of shenanigating and general hell-raising fun.

Bil Benden, Jeff Blanchard, and Charlie are slated to join me - along with our host, WNIR's Tom Cullison. It will mark the first time CWTC history that all four Horsemen will be able to do the show together.

Tickets are just $15... Not a misprint... $15 for ALL FOUR HORSEMEN. Any one of of my very talented friends ALONE is worth TWICE that ticket price. Details on ticket availability will be posted very soon.

All money raised will go to LOCAL Akron Charities supported by the Auxiliary. 
​

Daddy Dearest

6/17/2022

 
Dad seems to get the shaft when it comes to his day. Seriously. Without his shaft, we wouldn't be here. We've got some great ideas on how to celebrate your Pops. Just don't anger him, if you can. Right, Conley?

Drink Recipe of the Week: Papa Bear Whiskey Cocktail

Picture

Ingredients:
1.25 oz Jack Daniel's Single Barrel Select (or a non-sweet bourbon)
1/3 oz Aperol
1 oz Grapefruit Juice
1/2 oz Lemon Juice
1/2 oz Honey Syrup 1:1 ratio of honey and water
1/2 oz Ginger Beer
1 Garnish with Grapefruit Slice

What to do:
In a shaker, add your ice, Whiskey, Aperol, Grapefruit, lemon, honey syrup and give this a good shake.
Strain over fresh ice in a collins glass and top up with ginger beer. Garnish with Grapefruit slice. Cheers!

Conley's Next Live Show:

What:  Comedy with the Cops XVIII
When:  Sat. June 25th | 8:00 pm
Where: Fraternal Order of Police Akron Lodge 7 | 2610 Ley Dr, Akron, Ohio

Crazy as it sounds ... it's COMEDY WITH THE COPS - 18! The Akron FOP Auxiliary #1 once again helps brings the laughs to Ley Drive.

SATURDAY, JUNE 25TH, 8PM ... the Four Horsemen of Northeast Ohio Comedy will ride in to the pavilion of the FOP #7 Lodge for a memorable night of shenanigating and general hell-raising fun.

Bil Benden, Jeff Blanchard, and Charlie are slated to join me - along with our host, WNIR's Tom Cullison. It will mark the first time CWTC history that all four Horsemen will be able to do the show together.

Tickets are just $15... Not a misprint... $15 for ALL FOUR HORSEMEN. Any one of of my very talented friends ALONE is worth TWICE that ticket price. Details on ticket availability will be posted very soon.

All money raised will go to LOCAL Akron Charities supported by the Auxiliary. 
​

Itchy & Scratchy

6/10/2022

 
Time for some real talk. You need to expand your mind and understand that an STI can strike other than the usual places. We know. Ick. We're here to help. And so is Conley. Kind of...

Drink Recipe of the Week: Crash & Burn

Picture

​Ingredients:

3 oz Pineapple Juice, divided
3 oz Orange Juice, divided
½ oz Rum, 151 (any brand of 151 rum)
½ oz Triple Sec
1 oz Amaretto
1 oz Light Rum
1 oz Blackberry Brandy
½ oz Maraschino Cherry Juice
Ice
​
What to do:
Fill a tall cocktail glass halfway with ice. In a cocktail shaker combine, 151 Rum, Triple Sec, Amaretto, Light Rum, Blackberry Brandy, Maraschino Cherry Juice, 2 ounces of Pineapple Juice, 2 ounces of Orange Juice; shake 10 times. Pour cocktail over ice in a tall glass. Pour remaining Pineapple and Orange juices over the drink; do not stir. Garnish with Maraschino Cherries and a Pineapple wedge. Drink immediately!

Conley's Next Live Show:

What:  Comedy with the Cops XVIII
When:  Sat. June 25th | 8:00 pm
Where: Fraternal Order of Police Akron Lodge 7 | 2610 Ley Dr, Akron, Ohio

Crazy as it sounds ... it's COMEDY WITH THE COPS - 18! The Akron FOP Auxiliary #1 once again helps brings the laughs to Ley Drive.

SATURDAY, JUNE 25TH, 8PM ... the Four Horsemen of Northeast Ohio Comedy will ride in to the pavilion of the FOP #7 Lodge for a memorable night of shenanigating and general hell-raising fun.

Bil Benden, Jeff Blanchard, and Charlie are slated to join me - along with our host, WNIR's Tom Cullison. It will mark the first time CWTC history that all four Horsemen will be able to do the show together.

Tickets are just $15... Not a misprint... $15 for ALL FOUR HORSEMEN. Any one of of my very talented friends ALONE is worth TWICE that ticket price. Details on ticket availability will be posted very soon.

All money raised will go to LOCAL Akron Charities supported by the Auxiliary. 
​

<<Previous

    About

    Mike Conley is a rum (or Tito's)-filled seasoned comedian (tastes like chicken) available for private events and club slots. You've heard him on the airwaves of Northeast Ohio throughout the years as  "Funcle Mike" on jenY 1073, "Friday Conley" on Mix 94.1, "Dr. Damien Love" on Q92, and as "Dr. Jobe Crevace" on 97.5. Hear him live weekdays as one half of the Ike & Conley morning show on 99.9 WTUZ "Z Country".

    Book him through: drbuckeye79@yahoo.com

    ​Virtually touch him here:
    Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/mike.conley.393
    Twitter:       https://twitter.com/MikeConleyFunny
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbuckeye79/

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